I. Am 22year old lady.i am so depressed that I dont want to live anymore.before I wanted to die soon but by natural death and was a no to suicide always but now I have no choice left.i am 5 6 tall 38kg..u can guess how thin I must be..and its irritating when always people tell how thin u are
ver and over again..and they keep on telling you will never get a guy if u don get healthy..and whatever I do I don’t put on weight.next thing is I am very silent I have seen many other silent people but I am tooooo silent than all of them.i don’t actually have people those love me..i just cant mingle with others quite easily even if I am with that person with many days also..be it girl or boy..getting close forget cant even communicate easily.whenever I have to talk to smart person or gang of people I get very nervous and have panic attacks always in these situations..i am very absent minded also.cannot concentrate on one thing for long time.cannot make decisions..and bout my family my father and mother aren’t really bothered about me when i fall sick or regarding my marriage they were same to my sister but shes a strong lady and she found a guy n got married and is happy. my brother is married and is not like a member of our family anymore.he does not even ask how I am when I fall sick.he is not interested in knowing bout what’s going on in my life etc.I don’t have a job also.its very hard for me to get as I don talk much and people can just say talk more what’s there but its not really the same.you wont know until u are in my place.i am just a big zero.I at least thought would be happy after marriage but my parents are n bothered bout searching a match for me..i barely talk so its difficult for m to find it by myself..i don’t know why I was created..i don’t have the qualities that even normal people have.i am a total loser.i just want to leave this cruel world..where I am not fit to belong.
4 comments
I wish there were more people like you.
Do you think those things are making you more depressed or are they the cause of your depression? I don’t think you have to be like everyone else to find people you fit in with who will like you the way you are. You must be very underweight, which doesn’t mean you’ll never find a man, but it could have a serious effect on your health. It could even be making you more depressed or forgetful. I’d also look for help for the panic and anxiety, because they’re horrible to have to live with. I understand that you can’t just talk more. You’re not a loser. You’ll find someone to love and who loves you too, just the way you are.
I am sure that if you could be here at least for a while, you would be able to talk as much as you like without an end or I would do it then. It is difficult not to like you when you write so beautifully.
You write that you don’t have the qualities that normal people do ? I would say, on the very contrary, you have much more than most of people I know. I go insane in desperation when I see how people can get to ignore those around them, even if they are members of their family.
Given that you are now in a depressed stated, it is very natural that you don’t feel excitement in marriage or things around, as that belongs to depression itself. I am worried about the weight you write. Do you really eat normally ? or are you skipping meals and things like that? Being well physically is critical to feeling in a better mood. If one is not well physically, feeling happy is impossible. So, address that issue of weight. If you still dont feel talking to the people that surround you, you can come and chat and write. I will love to read and write too.
big hug
You have people making negative comments about your thinness, but I sigh because I would need to be your size in order to win the heart of the love of my life. :'(