there are times when i feel completely numb and there are times when i feel as if nothing can bring me down. i am caught in a place where i cannot figure out how i truly feel. i am so sick of feeling like i have to block out my emotions because others around me cant understand it. i constantly feel alone, lost and out of control. i just need to know the reasons why i feel the way i do…
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It’s scary to feel lost and out of control. It’s like you’re literally trying to hold on to your sanity. It’s hard, but you can hang on. I don’t know about you, but eventually my mood will go back to feeling fine and “as if nothing can bring me down” like you said. That’s the best feeling! That’s when I’m social and go out and have fun.
Then there are times I feel paranoid, insecure, scared and unsure of myself. It’s like I go from feeling like I can conquer the world to feeling like a scared little child who needs to hide and be taken care of. That’s the scariest feeling to me. When I feel like I’m so mentally weak and exposed to the wolves. Those wolves can feel like family members or life in general.
It just sucks when you’re not sure how you’ll feel from one moment to the next. That’s why I can’t maintain contact with people really. I disappear when I feel low.
Have you ever tried therapy? It can help to talk things out. I haven’t been in weeks and some of that is because of the holidays so that’s why I haven’t felt grounded.
thank you for sharing your experience and feelings. it definitely helps me in way where i don’t feel alone and i’m glad i have someone i can relate to. I have tried therapy before then was prescribed medication. i’m not really a chemical type of gal, so i take these natural supplements (vitamins) to help balance out the neurotransmitters in my brain. it has kept me somewhat sane but i still get those out of control feelings.
I understand. Medication doesn’t work for everyone. I asked for Latuda for bipolar, but couldn’t even force myself to take it because I’ve convinced myself I’ll have horrible side effects or something. Only thing I take is anti-anxiety medication like klonopin because that’s guaranteed to work for me. Anyway, hold on. I hope the out of control feelings pass soon. XoXo
I agree with brokenbent, have you tried going to a professional? I had years where it felt like I was spinning a roulette wheel in the morning. The red was up, the black was down and the number it landed on was how cranked up that would feel. And every morning I would get up and spin that wheel and pray it was a low number.
Oh and I really like your screen name, one of my fav Linkin Park songs.
it’s one of my favorite songs too! i totally understand what you mean about spinning a roulette wheel. there are days where it feels like it’s never going to end.