So I had someone, who told me over and over they would be here to listen when I’m on the edge, and help me get help that I needed. I needed time, going and getting help during the holidays where I live is next to impossible. Most places are closed until January. I told him that over and over and over. Yet yesterday, he abandoned me. Told me I can’t speak to him until I’m getting help. The help he promised he would be there with me to get. Now I get to do it on my own. Like I told him I was scared to do. I know this wasn’t easy, I told him that, but he kept making me believe it was okay, and to just take it slow and I could get there. Now I’m alone again. He says we’ll talk again and still be friends once I get help. But how will I ever trust him again? He says he’s not abandoning me, but this sure feels like it. He kept texting me today, even when I told him he would need to block me if he doesn’t want me tempted to talk to him. He said he won’t. But I’m not allowed to message him. This is impossible. Like, now, why should I even try. The one person who said they would be there is gone. Why does anything matter anymore.
3 comments
I’m sorry this is happening to you. That situation sound a little controlling and abusive if you ask me even though he is using the old “tough love” approach. I know getting help is scary, I’ve been there, reaching out to a stranger I don’t know is scary as hell. In January I am going to start marriage counseling and I would rather stick chopsticks up my nose than talk to some stranger about the trainwreck my marriage has become. But suck it up I will and go I will and talk…well yeah I’ll talk too.
Hang in there, what he is doing sucks, it totally sucks and I get how abandoned you feel. Keep talking to us here until you get to see a professional. It will help. People read all the posts here even if they don’t answer. The reasons for not answering vary but trust me it isn’t because they don’t feel deeply for your situation.
Hope this helps. So recap: hand in there, grab some hands here at SP, cruise into the new year and start seeing a professional…rinse, repeat.
HDS
He says he’ll be there once I get help, but I don’t trust him anymore. I asked him to help me get up early one day, and he forgot/sleep in until it was too late, and I was so upset then. But he said sorry like 20 times, and we were going to try again the next day they were open, and I told him to forget it the night before. I don’t trust him anymore because of this. Doesn’t matter if he comes back, I’ll never be able to talk to him again. I’ll never have that person I can call during the night when things are bad and just want to know I’m cared about. That’s gone and it will never come back. He kept telling me I had to call him, and then he does this…..
Hey there,
As someone stated previously, this situation sounds a little bit controlling. Personally, I’m not sure if I trust this guy in the first place.
I must be honest here, I have stopped talking to people who I said I’d be there for before. It’s not because I don’t care anymore, or because I lied on purpose, or because I don’t wish to remain in contact with them, but rather, if one isn’t willing to get help, then how can I do anything? If all a person is going to do is wine about their issue, but not do anything to fix it, I don’t understand why I need to keep that person in my life.
This being said, I’m not saying this is how you are. You may actually want to do something, yet you need to take it slow. In that case, you’re more than welcome to email me. I’ll listen and do my best to help you. Sometimes strangers are the easiest people to talk to.
My email is:
brl.cents@gmail.com