About 50 minutes ago, I posted a question asking whether any of you intentionally cut off your friends, just to make yourself feel horrible, or to spare them.
(Its called, “Anyone Else: Loneliness.” in case any of you wanna give it a look at.)
I’ve been sitting here dreading every second, thinking about it.
And I remembered what I used to say to myself about it,
I used to think it was to prevent myself from happiness.
I don’t deserve a happy; This is all my fault.
Everyone’s problems? My fault. I can’t be happy because its not fair.
You know what I hate the most? Hearing people deny it, try to convince me that perhaps I’m just being delusional and this isn’t the truth.
But I feel their f’ing with my mind, and so I get frustrated with myself even more.
Do any of you do this? Believe you don’t deserve happiness, and so you sabotage your life in every way you can? You’ll cut, detach from your friends, even prevent yourself from being happy, because you deserve it,
Because you aren’t worthy enough.
Maybe there are other reasons too,
I don’t know, there are several that I listed,
-You either blame yourself,
-You believe people don’t like you,
-You want to spare everyone from your existence,
-Maybe you have voices or some other traumatic event that gets you to believe that happiness is not meant for you.
Regardless of the case, who does this/ has done this? What are some things you’ve done…
5 comments
I cut friends off IRL from time to time because I can’t stand the intimacy. That is really the only reason.
Not proud of it, so I’m not going to discuss m#thods.
I do that. I tend to push friends away too, at least irl (i’ve done it on the internet too tho… so yeah). That said, there’s no actual weight to “deserving” things. Everyone deserves happiness and at the same time, no one does, because “deserving” is only a social construct. Many times i’ve seen people who do horrible things in their pursuit of happiness, and they still get it and no one tells them anything about it, so… maybe you’re not being delusional about it, but you’re just looking at it from a certain pov that doesn’t fit with other’s opinions.
Even knowing all of that i still think the 4 reasons you mentioned are valid in my case, so yeah.
Lol friends what are those?. I haven’t had the luxury of good friendships if anything ive stayed loyal to jack asses. I’ve attempted sooo many times. Random but is your screen name a CM punk reference? If so your the best in the world. If not and you don’t know who im talking about ignore this comment lol.
Hey. I read this and blame myself for everything. I r::an from my problems. Alienated myself from social media