I’m so self destructive
things start going good, then I do as much as possible to ruin any progress I make and get myself in a worse situation
The end is coming soon, at least I have death to look forward to.
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You feel empty. You don’t even feel the pain as you use to. And you mis feeling it. You think trough all your possibilities and come to the conclusion that deaths the only way out. I think of high speed trains, the rails are just by my apartment. I think of it all the time.
I’m on house arrest
my house is 10 k to the nearest 500 pop town and I have no car
once it’s done I’m off to the city to find a very tall building
I love skydiving, but it’s expensive and they probably wouldon’t let me on without a chute while I’m high on every drug I know how to find.. so I’ll take what I can get when I can get it
something about dying on mushrooms molly and heroine seems appealing
wish I could dive one more time tho
Progress is a little like building a tower out of blocks, sometimes we knock it down for whatever reason. You have no reason not to take a deep breath and start again, you were doing well and we both know you can get back into that positive flow