I’m gay, this is the first time I’ve said it to others. I’m to scared of living with myself if I come out because of the people around me, but I feel like I’m dying on the inside. I have people I care about and people I love, but I don’t want to put them in this situation of having to deal with my gay ass. I have a gay friend I like but she’s the definition of a hoe, but she has her moments. Then I have a straight friend that just leaves me breathless every time she speaks. I want to just be me but, nobody wants to go out with someone covered in scars and has shitload of problems nobody knows about. Then their is my unpredictable catholic parents that I love but might just get rid of me if I tell the world. I know life isn’t easy, but fuck nobody told me I’d have to deal with this bullshit and balance those problems out with my already established anxiety, Insomnia, and appearance issues.
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I think that dying on the inside feeling is the worst possible situation. Being gay, however, I don’t think there is anything wrong with. I’d say it’s more a negative reflection on society that it has a problem with who someone loves than anything else, but then, I’m also aware I’m one person facing the monolith. It might not mean much, but I’d say anxiety, insomnia, and appearance issues are enough trouble. Don’t let being gay be another problem.
Thank you, I honestly appreciate it. I know there’s nothing wrong with who I am and I know that things will change. The world around me changing isn’t a problem what’s terrifying is the people I care about looking at me completely different I wouldn’t know how I’d take it.