Depression Haiku:
Hi again, Doctor
Of COURSE I’m feeling better
You don’t mind lies, right?
Made of wet cement
With the strength of a kitten
I will stay in bed
Prescriptions galore
Which one is the time machine
Should I go back, or….?
A world of dark gray
Matches all of my outfits!
I look like I cared
Sleeping like zombies
Wide-eyed for hours again
On the same old slab
SP is one place
I do not have to explain
What it’s really like
.
41 comments
luv the singular dot at the end. 😛
bah.. did you see silva fight?
yes, i made a post about it. was wondering why you didn’t reply there.
dont know how i missed that
Yay for singular dots!
.
.
So, wait….
The singular dot has replaced the sniff?
It’s like we’re down to one nostril instead of two….
@Cordless….
So tell me??? What would you have me sniff?
What was the last thing you sniffed that you enjoyed?
[insert long, awkward pause]… lol
I got me a free “sweet orange” essential oil; arrived in the mail today. Now, all I need is an Eessential Oil diffuser. But those buggers are sooo expensive.
I think my favorites are lemon oil and grapefruit oil.
Peppermint is nice too.
And pine.
I used to have a ceramic ring that went on top of a lightbulb, put a few drops of essential oil on it, and the heat would make the oil scent diffuse throughout the room.
@bah, couldn’t you just drop a tiny bit on a hot light bulb? A poor man’s diffusor of sorts.
Yeah I am glad that SP forum exists. It sometimes is the only place we can really vent our frustrations around others who understand. I tell my doctors I am doing fine and dandy too. LOL
I wonder what all our doctors would think if they came here and saw what we REALLY think.
It reminds me of an old episode of Dr. Phil where these parents refused to believe their kids misbehaved at school. They’d say “You must be mistaken. MY child would NEVER do anything like that.”
So they hid a camera at the schools and taped the awful behavior some of these kids had. There was lying, stealing, bullying, anger issues, EVERYTHING.
And the parents couldn’t believe what they saw. They eventually had no choice but to admit that little Johnny obviously wasn’t the perfect little angel they thought he was.
If it hadn’t been for the videos, they just wouldn’t have believed it.
So I wonder how many of our doctors would say “No, really, he/she’s doing A LOT better. I know because she TOLD ME SO. There’s no way he/she could possibly be daydreaming about death and writing axe-murderer music.”
LOL. 😀
I know FOR SURE that my doctor would make me go back to daily therapy. He did that before and has threatened to send me back. They send me to this deal called PHP that stands for “Partial Hospitalization Program.” The one they stuck me in before you have to go 5 days a week. Almost like a job. 8am to about 3 PM and your whole day in there is going to group therapy and also one on one sessions with a therapist. I went to it before or about 5 weeks and finally they let me graduate out of it and go on with my life. But I know my doctor would send me back to that program or something similar if he saw some of my posts on PHP when I am venting and so forth. Basically doctors have to cover their ass; so if they hear you mention anything about suicide or harming yourself they have to do something… and that usually means they either hospitalize you or send you some other type of program or have the police come and get you or something like that. so well… that is why I try not to ever mention anything about suicide to anybody in my daily life.. so I come here to vent anonymously.
I also come here so I can be around people who struggle with situations that I am going through or have been through.. so I don’t have to feel all alone in my struggles. I also come here to try and contribute and help others as well.
peace
I also learned the hard way NOT to vent to people in everyday life.
I have to admit that if my doctor ever asked me point-blank “Have you ever had thoughts of suicide?”– I would have to lie.
Or I could sort of flub around and say something that was technically the truth, but only up to a point: “Yes,” I could say. “When I was a teenager I had a rough time where that was something I seriously considered. But that was a long time ago.”
It’s true as far as it goes, but it implies that those thoughts are not part of my current reality.
I would never admit to anyone (except you guys here) that those thoughts are often a part of my current reality.
Because, as you said, doctors get nervous and try to cover themselves by over-reacting. So if they ever got sued, there would be a paper trail to prove that they had done all they could.
It’s like having to play a frustrating game where the truth gets you nowhere.
Right. And meanwhile, all those places where they send you to get help- mental institutions, hospitals, therapists, psychiatrists- none of them actually help you.
My parents would surely think I’m some kind of serious nutcase..They know something is up, I just don’t know if they know that I am really depressed and absolutely hate it here.
No idea.
Of course, I won’t say anything… what will that accomplish… right?
It’s funny when you’d rather be homeless and alone in a part of the world with better opportunities than have a roof over your head somewhere you despise every second of every minute of every day…
Five syllables first
Seven in the second line
Then end with five more.
Writing a haiku
Requires thought. Easy? No
Rarely do they rhyme.
Haven’t eaten yet.
The Chinese buffet sounds good.
It’s a bargain lunch.
Spicy hot peppers
Stir-fried with saucy chicken
Don’t forget egg rolls
Fried rice: dark brown bits
Water chestnuts: Oddly crisp
White rice sticks like glue
Read Confucius’ note
In fortune cookie when done:
“That wasn’t chicken”.
Still it is tasty
And I will go back again
With a new clean plate
Bravo. Those weren’t bad.
Funny you mentioned chicken,
that’s the back-up plan.
El Pollo Loco
‘Chicken Crazy’ in Spanish.
Tasty, fast and cheap.
Writing food haikus
On a suicide forum
Nothing’s wrong with me.
What is that bad smell?
Fucking cat urinating
Guess I’ll do laundry.
Nine Lives and Friskies
Three hours later become
Litter box from hell
Awakened at night
By “Hhoorrk, hork, hork, ghhhhork, hork-splat!”
Another hairball.
They think cats are clean
But if I licked my own ass
Everyone would stare.
This reminds me of the episode where Sakka finds a haiku club and the whole time he speaks in haiku form without realizing it. And then he gets too cocky and gets kicked out…
XD
Loving the awesome poetry… but how was the Doc? What happened? Did they identify the walnut? Was it literally a walnut? It was wasn’t it? Why would you shove one up your nose?
Thanks for remembering and caring.
Today was just the pile of tests.
I won’t get the results until next week.
Those were the tests for Cushing’s Disease and Osteomalacia.
They haven’t even started investigating the tumor yet.
I’m still trying to get them to take that a bit more seriously.
A week… fucking absurd.
What’s absurd is that they first saw the tumor on an x-ray TWO YEARS ago.
Yeah. People wonder why I never go to doc… like knowing what kills me matters… add in misdiagnosed, side effects, etc… why bother
Plus, all the outdated magazines in the waiting room.
Oooh the June 1996 issue of Readers Digest
Dont forget the Kenny G music and the other cheesy music you get to listen to in the Doctors waiting room?
One interesting thing about my general practitioner’s office is that instead of muzak, they have a TV that constantly plays the Weather Channel.
And my other doctor’s office (the orthopedic specialist) doesn’t have muzak either. I think there’s a flatscreen TV on the wall there too, but I never watch it because I’m always too busy filling out all the update forms they give me.
Two years ago? They discovered a tumor TWO YEARS AGO and haven’t thought to investigate it?
Your doctors should be drawn and quartered, Cordless.
Yes, two years! I remember it was in January of 2014 because I needed the neck/head x-ray for evidence when I applied for disability. (My neck curves in an abnormal way and it pinches nerves which causes migraines. You can’t tell just by looking at me, but it’s obvious on the x-ray. The abnormal curvature is called “Cervical Kyphosis”. They were taking x-rays of that to see if the curvature had worsened any in the past 30 years. That’s when they noticed the tumor.
It was the only time I saw that particular doctor; he isn’t the one I usually go to.
I remember he was trying to be professional and maintain his composure, but at the same time he was bothered by what he saw. He pointed to the mass and said something like “Um, are you aware you have this???
None of my usual doctors have done anything with that information.
I’ve mentioned it at least twice, and I think it’s taken so long to get noticed that the x-ray doctor might have thrown away the records. I think his office has a policy where old records get deleted after 6 months.
They’d have to start all over again, taking a brand new x-ray of my head.
It’s a big bureaucratic mess, just like many other things in life.
One positive thing is that I DID eventually get approved for disability.
Not just because of the Cervical Kyphosis/Migraine thing, but also because of the Equinovarus deformity in the feet/ankles.
I had to go to court and fight for it, hobbling into the courtroom with leg braces, a wheelchair/walker, and a lawyer at my side, and even then they were jerks about it, but I did finally get approved.
That was outstanding! Thank you!
It was fun!
Feel free to add one of your own!
I read this hours ago at work. Amazing writing. After reading I returned to wading around in a lot of 1’s, 2’s and 3’s.
Yay!
Thanks for choosing my balderdash instead of work. 🙂
And thank you for inspiring me to write a few cat-related items of my own.
(see above).
You should make a bacon haiku. Call it “Ode to Bacon.” And attach a song along with it. 😛