Hey all, I’ve known and read through SP for a little while now and have now joined.
Where do I begin. “I hate my life”, I guess would be it. I think and say this most days now and my general demeanor is usually unhappy and frustrated at the state of my life. I know my life isn’t particularly a bad one, I mean its comfortable and easy (im 20 still looking for a job (that aint likely)) I get to do lots of nothing and play games most of the time so mostly I shouldnt really complain but screw mostly, I will if I want to.
I just hate where Im at right now. People are always saying “it’ll get better, better days can be just around the corner” but that’s shit and we all know it. Things can always get worse or never get better and I’m sick of wading through the thick mud that is life as an articulated, smart individual in a place with no jobs for me, (I’m not being picky I seriously can’t seem to get one as much as I look)
Ergo no real growth can happen and I’m stuck sitting here looking at myself, hating myself (I also have a few bad body issues) and now it’s really taking tolls on my physical and mental health as well as I’m not sleeping or eating properly. And I sit here with an overactive mind that keeps telling me my life is shit. I think that each person’s life is worth as much as that individual feels and so even if others tell me mine isn’t to bad well it doesnt feel like it to me.
Around september I really started to get depressed and a little while on I began self harming, knife cuts on arm just to feel the pain, I haven’t since. Before xmas however I got quite close to ending it, with a knife to my neck and ready to open it I had and still have my letter I wrote apologizing to my mother for her having to find such a bloody mess. What stopped me most was the thought of the sadness I’d leave in my wake, on my mum and older brother, I thought I could always do it later if I wanted to. I think each persons life should be their’s to take and I certainly would still be willing to take my own at a moments notice.
So here I sit wondering why its seems so much more worth it to just end it now. I mean I know life has some great moments and the world has lots to offer but it seems that, if not just for me, it has so much more crap and hard times and undue hardship then it could ever have good times to match, I guess everyones different. I’m certainly not happy with my life so far.
So yeah, …shit. Thats all I can really say at this point.
Thanks for reading I guess.
33 comments
thank you for sharing and WELCOME!!
Welcome to the club
Thanks, dont have any real friends in my life at least I can have a place to go to
I’ll be your friend too
Yeah it is a good place to unload people are supportive here it’s a good place you’ll fit in just fine here
Hey while i’m here I’ll be your friend 😛
WHY CAN’T WE BE FRIENDS , WHY CAN’T WE BE FRIENDS (my mind takes me to weird places)
Thanks and that song gave me a good laugh
Well thats good to hear 😀 If I can’t help myself fuck it I’ll help others try and keep a positive vibe going :3
I have the same problem suicide I can help others but can’t save myself lol
Yeah… Maybe I’ll save myself by helping people? IDK where I’m going with this I CAN BE THE HERO YOU GUYS NEED, Just not the one you want XDD *rescues people with a hot dog* yay i’m so helpful.
Or prolong the pain I’m not to sure what I’m doing not sure if it’s better to go or stay lol but a hot dog sounds gd 😀
*throws a hot dog at you* yay friendship XDD
*grabs a cape* I’m super XD *falls on face*
~SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO~
Stay for a wile my friend
While i was asking the question, i was also singing the song…..
Love that song -3-
Welcome to the forum, Mr. Angry.
I agree with your belief that a person should be able to end their suffering whenever they want to, with only very few, rare exceptions.
However, I can’t say that I agree with what you said about people only being worth what they think they’re worth.
What if Louis Pasteur or Edward Jenner or Ashoka or Martin Luther King Jr. or Gregor Mendel or Marie Curie or Maximilian Kolbe had thought that their lives had had no worth? They’d’ve been very wrong. Worth is intrinsically imbued within the entire human race, friend.
Good interesting repose there fish, i guess all i can say is all those people well they accomplished things and so that alone is them believing in themselves therefore giving their own lives worth themselves
That’s a fair point. Well, what about those of us who never know about their accomplishments?
What about…hmm…a young child who dies in an accident, or even shortly after birth, whose tissues go to people that need them? I heard a personal story once about a newborn dying and its eye tissue being donated to help a child who was going blind, as well as its heart tissue being used in cancer research. That child never knew that it was going to do something great. It never believed in itself.
Or even a person who does something noble on accident?
Sometimes we don’t know about our worth.
Not knowing our worth or possible worth, definitely right you are there
ha.. Kat … well said sis… now listen to your brilliant self…
Aww the hot dog missed :/ better luck next time ay 😀 .splat hot dog hits wall . Lol
-.- *throws multiple toilet rolls*
XD that’s not very fair ? Matrix moves ? Slow motion
I need some tp…
See sports need tp and suicide is just wasting it like that ? Paper party sui ? Can I call u sui ? XD
Call me anything ya want yea Sui is cool though I should be a feature on the iPhone
Person-with-an-iPhone: Sui look up some pizza places
Sui: ***** you better be buying me some if i’m looking this shit up for you I want a extra large meatlovers thanks XD
ha … you won the internet again!!
I’m just that good XD
Haha