When I got laid off in January I quit all my psych meds except for occasional Xanax for job interviews. I thought I was finally helping myself after years of being a zombie. I was proud of myself and thought the hardest part was over. Wrong. I saw my shrink yesterday and told her I still suffer from extreme nausea and only Xanax and getting drunk makes it go away. She pointed out that my hands were also shaking. She then pointed out the obvious that I have been in denial of. I’m an alcoholic and when my body isn’t drunk or medicated I now get physically ill. So today starts day one of my sobriety. Another uphill battle for me to fight just when I thought the worst fighting was over. I really don’t know how to face the empty void that is my life sober. My life is a wasteland and I have no reasons to live never mind struggle with this one. I wish to God I had a better method so I could escape. I’m scared, lonely, afraid, nauseous. Well I’ll stop rambling now. I had to type this twice because the first version got deleted and now I am tired. I hope everyone out there in SP land has a good day. I’m thankful that this sight exists so at least we have a place to express our fears.
10 comments
I’m an alcoholic too. That very same thing happens to me when I try to stop drinking. I can’t sleep. My anxiety goes through the roof. I shake so badly in the mornings that it is hard to even copy and paste. I get miserable because can’t relax. Miserable.
I wish you luck.
Thanks dollyhaze
Giving up booze sucks. I’ve done it a few times. I’m thinking I finally got it. Fortunately, for me, the withdrawal didn’t last too long. On the positive, you should have a fair bit more cash now. So I’d suggest picking up a hobby.
It’s nice to know that u were successful. I don’t know how I’m gonna make it. Thanks for commenting.
I’m in the same boat Been sober 3 years and it sucks
3 years is a long time. You should be proud. Thanks for giving me hope that sobriety can be done. One day at a time I guess.
Im sorry to see you going through something like this.. and its a little scary for myself personally, this might be me in some years.. I always tell myself to try to cut down on the alcohol once my life gets more stable.. but who knows if that will ever happen =/
It sneaks up on you. I never thought I was an alcoholic bc I was always functional and never got in any trouble. One day ur having a few beers after work, next thing you know your drinking vodka like its water. Be careful. I hope ur life gets more stable soon.
Dyinginny,
Congrats for the decision, I am sending you my best wishes today. One day at a time, just one step at a time.
Thanks Moneypenny. I’ll take all the good wishes I can get!