My children 17 & 15 really don’t want anything to do with me since there father & I separated. I had to leave him to save my sanity but now I’m thinking maybe I should have stayed for my children. My X is very heartless & has told the children lies about me. I don’t tell them anything about what there father has done to me during the marriage. I don’t think that would be right. As I watch them pull away from me, I’ve become very depressed & distant. They have always been my world & I adore them but I’m hurting so bad. I think about just removing myself from their lives often….it hurts so bad. Most days I wish I would just leave this world but at the same time I don’t want to hurt them. I’m not even sure if it would affect them that much. I lost my mother when I was young & ive endured so much hurt about that. I don’t want to do that to my kids but at the same time, I’m hurting so bad!! I am a lost soul!!
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5 comments
They’re pulling away from you because he’s manipulating and brainwashing them. If you had to leave this man for your sanity you made the right choice.
The kids need to hear the truth from both sides-if they don’t hear your version, they’ll think your ex was right. My divorced parents badmouthed each other but I’m glad I heard both views. Plus I made my own judgments about my parents and I’m still friends with them now in my 40s.
If you care about your kids, rebuild your relationship with them. Fight for yourself-no one else will.
Thank you. I’ve been thinking about this all night. I’m going to sit them down tomorrow after school & talk to them. I really don’t believe in talking negativity about their father but he has left me no choice
sls I’m really sorry to hear you are having to deal with all this, sounds really awful :-s I agree with day2day, you should deffo explain things to them from your point of view. I don’t think it is bad mouthing anyone when you are only simply being honest about a situation and your reasons for leaving. They may not see it as you leaving him, the father, but that you left them. hearing your reasons I am sure will bring them reassurance and make them and you feel a lot better to start rebuilding and coming to terms with the new situation.
Thank you Ant. I spoke with my daughter today. It went well, now onto my son. Ugh! ??
I’m really happy you found the courage to talk to them. My parents talked smack about eachother non stop and still do to this day. They have been divorced longer than they were ever married.
I took the high road with my sociopath ex husband but he didn’t want visitation so it was easier to keep thing balanced. I just talked kindly abour her father until she turned 20 and started asking hard questions so I told her the truth. She understood and felt better about a lot of things.
Open communication is key. Kids make up their own minds eventually anyway.