Why are people always saying that suicide is selfish? I have been tired of living since I was 9. I am 32 now, and the only reason I am still alive is because of how many people have told me that they need me to stay.
Aren’t they the ones being selfish? To hold me here with threats, pleas, and guilt? I made a promise to stay, and I regret that promise every single day. But, I will keep my word until and unless my weariness turns into something even worse.
I have no hope, and cannot even remember what it feels like. I hide behind a face that shows little expression, and never tell anyone the truth of my feelings(in person). The only reason I am typing here, is that I am anonymous, and difficult to trace.
Every time I sleep, I think about an almost-prayer I developed a few years ago. It helps a little.
Now I lay me down to sleep
I hope I have no soul to keep
Please let me die, instead of wake
Another day I cannot take
5 comments
i agree and i disagree. it is a selfish act because you’re taking yourself away from everyone you love and who loves you. but at the same time, if you cannot handle it, they are being selfish denying you what you want. they just want you and need you around it all. i know i’m alot younger than you. but i hope you stick around. i have survived on false hope that things will get better. i too, have no hope left.
Suicide is selfish act but so are a lot of things we do on a daily basis and don’t consider. To me its not nearly as selfish someone as asking someone else who is in pain to stay alive so their world will be whole. Even if you in reality only occupy a small chunk of that persons world.
Although I’m also a lot younger than you, I agree and also feel similar, especially with wanting to die/being tired of life from early on.
Personally I feel that no one can be selfless. Not truly. Suicide is considered a selfish act because while we “end the pain” for ourselves, we “cause it to those around us”. However, I agree with what you said, and have been in such situation when someone’s said they need me, what would they do if I weren’t here etc. (I hope I’m not turning this around to be about me. I just want to say you’re not alone with this). They’re being just as selfish when they say this.
May I just say, I think the prayer is really beautiful. Would it be of any help if you perhaps wrote more things regarding your thoughts and feelings?
Thanks for the beautiful prayer.
I, also, like the prayer. I have prayed similar prayers so many times. But, finally, I realized that there was no one to hear those prayers let alone answer them. It was like I was transmitting on a really weak CB radio and there was no one to pick up my feeble signal.