ugh

For myself I’m able to just go into warrior mode when times get really tough and I push through. Exams, depression, illness, etc. Because you’re right-life can be shitty but it can also be totally amazing. I’ve experienced both the highs and lows and it makes it worthwhile.

Don’t get me wrong, some days I really just want to end it and if suicide was easy, I probably would’ve ended it a long time ago. This is far from an ideal or happy life for me. Most of the time my struggle feels very pointless.

But I truly believe I’m at a turning point which will put me in a good position financially and I won’t be struggling after. It’s one of the reasons I keep going because I expect it will become much easier/better for me. Then hopefully, it’ll just be smooth sailing after and I’ll just enjoy what life has to offer. *fingers crossed*

However I haven’t reached that level yet and I’m still scraping by. So I’d advise just soldiering through your problems right now. Solve them all one at a time and one day you’ll feel proud of yourself for pulling through and perhaps for doing things not many people could.

For instance in my university program, there was nearly an 80% dropout/failure rate because it’s very difficult-I was one of the lucky ones who made it. So it made me feel I could accomplish almost anything. I might even start my own r&d biz down the road, if all goes to plan.

Of course life is not easy is a cliched understatement, but you only live once and it’s the surprises along the which at least for me have really made it worthwhile. Death is always available for those who really want it…so it’s not like you’re losing anything by living longer. 🙂