- 1. I was bullied all my school life (from elementary to high school ). In my last year I manage to make some friends through lies and deceit. When I am with them I have to act like a diferent person, I have to laught every time they make a joke, I have to listen to their problems and offer advice because that’s the kind of person they think I am and as soon as i start to show my true self they always get freaked out, so I can never share my hobbies or my troubles. It was nice in the beggining being part of a group but now is exausting. I don’t want to keep pretending anymore, and everytime I spend with them they only remind my of my shitty school life but I just laught because that’s what they expect from me, even though i’m crying inside I need to keep laughting. I just want them to forget about me but I also am scared of being alone aggain.
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2 comments
I truly believe there are friends out there for everyone, however difficult it is to find those connections, the ones who won’t freak out. It can be harder during school years with limited mobility, especially after you’ve dealt with people being awful.
But if you feel worse being with this group than you do alone, might be best to drop them. If there are local activities or forums relating to your hobby that might help you find some one to be authentic with.
Thank you for your comment, is painful being with them but is even more painful being alone.