I’ve been doing some thinking. I’ve been depressed since I was 14-15ish… That’s when I first started dating… I feel really bleak inside. I invest, the whole of myself into these relationships from the get go, and they never pan out. When we break up, I’m lonely, and feel worse. Recently my ex-girlfriend, the one who mattered most admitted to me she was never happy with me, which tore a large chunk out of me, considering I was at my best with her. I felt something that wasn’t so desolate. But in the end, it was just me… It was a selfish relationship, I’m the only one who got anything positive from it. I honestly feel, damaged… Like I’m not good enough for anyone/thing. No matter what I invest, time, money, love… anything, it’s all for nothing… So I’m sitting here on day 7 of the 7 day pact I made to kill myself if I didn’t feel better, wondering… What the fuck is wrong with me… What the fuck is wrong?
Scissorhands.