I’ve tried everything… Well, everything except pills because my doctor won’t give any to me. I guess I’m not important enough…
All I want to do is to jump off a bridge and not be saved. I don’t want to do this anymore, I can’t. The pain, the anxiety, all the fucking thinking, it’s too unbereable…
Everyone secretly hates me anyway, so I do not think that they would give a shit. And my therapist would probably just be happy to get rid of me..
so this is the part where I say goodbye. Goodbye pain, goodbye thoughts, goodbye everything.
2 comments
yeah it gets like that for me right now.
I haven’t been to sleep in over 40 hrs, haven’t been eating, whats really suprizing I’m smoking less for some reason. I’ve been a steadt 1 pk a day person since 1973.
If and when ready to depart here, I don’t think anything could stop a person, so its about ourselves blocking ourselves from letting go of this pyshical life.
i don’t know what i am going to say. every time i posted my feeling somewhere, people started judging me.
my story started last year where i realized how wrong i was for loving a married man. I know before you start judging me, i know that i am wrong and i shouldn’t be doing this. I tried, i tried to do everything but the very sight of him give me chills and i can’t stay away. But that is not what make me to kill myself. He treats me like i am just another piece of junk, never cares and nothing else. But why the hell i can’t leave him? i don’t know.
second reason, i just found out that i have clinical depression and haven’t told anybody because my family is in already too much stress. I don’t want to bother them. This makes me even more suicidal.
Life just does not make sense any more to me. I want to be alone and go away someplace from where i can never return and no one can find me.
The only reason i haven’t killed myself is because i know how devastated my family will be because they love me more than anything in this world. But i cannot continue like this.
What to do? Should i just keep on living the way i already do? Searching web every night for some help?