i feel dead.. in the hospital

i have problems getting to school.. becuse  i cant sleep.. so lastnight i pulled an all nighter becuse my mom wants me at shcool.. to keep myself awake throughout the night i had about 3 redbulls.. 3 rockstars.. and 3 five hour evergy shots.. i was in class and i was dizzy and faint i was going to be sick..i had a breakdown .. i was shaking .. it was so bad my school counceler took me to the hospital.. i felt dead… i have never felt so sick.. i threw up for the longest time.. i told the nurse .. i am done .. i dont do anyhting i hav no life.. i just want peace, i cant sleep i always feel like shit… and i dont giv two shits about anything.. .. my favourite teacher caame of work to come visit .. my mother came up too.. i was having thee worst mental breakdown i felt like shit … i havnt slept yet.. and im wide awake.. i was crying all that day..i told my docter everthing.. and you know what .. i hav three good loving people that care.. and im going to be helped.. i suffer from deep depression and anxiety…. and insomnia..but you know what ive learned alot about me today.. when i was a child .. i didn’t feel loved enough ….. i was bullied every year ..knobody accepted me for me.. so i tried to make men apreciate me in the rong way.. i thrived of hering them rant on my good looks.. but you know what.. all i need to know i am beutiful .. is me.. i know that i am beutiful and if ive already lived through this.. i can live through anything.. even though it sucked i got really sick.. but . didnt it happen for a reson.. i was all alone.. and now i have the support and love i need to make it.. if i can reach out enough to grasp that .. i can grasp anyhting.. and so can you.. i want to here your stories too! comment