Im sad because the one person who should love me says really bad things to me and hates me because i dont wanted to do as he says im not hurting anyone for not doing what he wants me to do i keep feeling that because of all the bad things that of happened i wonder if im not the problem theres been  bad people every where in my life and i cant get away from all of them they follow me i just feel ill never get away from all the bad people why do i feel for someone that hurts me so bad why do random people hurt me and others i feel you cant get pass what stareing you in the face you try to walk around them and they reappear until your so tried you cant fight them off anymore and you just finle just start taking the whole thing up the A@# he look over my at the computer and saw this site and all he had to say was youve got problems and i all could think was is yes yes i do.
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grammar.it exists.
anyway,you mentioned he SHOULD love you.Who are you to decide? ever consider all those “bad” peoples feelings around you?theres a reason why it hurts so bad,and it’: not by mere bad luck.
Hello justagirl,
What is it that he wants you to do that you don’t want to do? Can’t really comment or try to understand…you have left out the most important parts of the story. If you just wanted to rant…that is okay too.
Namaste
Amakua
black135white i dont need to be perfect by your standers if it bothers you dont read my post your just being like every one else that tring to distract them self from them selfs and ill wright any way i please if you where saying that to some one a little more unstable you might have just push them over the edge i really im suprised to see such a comment after just one day of this i hope your not talking to any one else this way your deep in to your self then you think and i do believe he should love when husband says he does but does not act like it he really goes out of he way to hurt me just like random people do
you meany,
justagirl853
amakua2309 i was a mess when i wrote this and yes i was ranting i guess i should have put it under that catagory to answer your question just any thing like buying him something or doing something he doesnt want to do hed call me names tell me im lazy good for nothing i know hes just tring to control me but it hard to live with someone like that i go to collage im having my third baby pay rent and bills and tring to find a job when i come home if i dont take care of the kids make him dinner on top of what i wanted to do im no good to him he hadnt had a job in three years but one job that lasted 3 month at part time hes got me where i feel if im not everything im nothing i dont have a car so i walk 20 mins to the bus stop even if i did i dont know how to drive theres a lot more but it hard to type all this out but thank you for your concern
your nice,
justagirl853
Hello justagirl,
Holy horseshit batman….are you a blast from my past…wow…how old are you now? And what are you going to school for? I guess the easiest way to explain…is to tell you another one of my long boring personal stories…lol.
My oldest daughter is 31 and she has been in a co-dependent abusive relationship with a misogynist for four and a half years. She recently went back to work for the first time since her oldest was born 11 years ago. Now everytime she tries to do something positive for herself…he tears her down…he has to…if she starts to get some self-confidence back(she never really had much since she was little) he attacks…calls her names…breaks her things…picks on her children…wears her down…and when she finally gets angry…he cries…seriously…like a little baby…”I don’t know why I do the things I do….I can’t seem to help it…but I do love you.” like that…hahaha…
So things got bad when she went back to work last month….and she was counting on him for watching the kids…all her money went to the household..so why not…well she had to go in the next day on an early shift…and he forgot to come home when he had promised…and she calls me in a panic…how is she going to be able to go to work…who will watch the kids…how is she gonna get there(she doesn’t drive either)…and she is so upset…she won’t be able to sleep and she can’t stop crying…and she will look stupid…and on and on the anxiety talk went.
And then I asked, “If you could change this….would you?” And she said of course she would. So I suggested that this was a pattern and that he was counting on her waiting up for him…upset and looking for a fight…and that she would then be unable to go to work…and she would prove him right again…she is a loser…but then…he lost yet another job last month…and he needs her to be a bigger loser than him…not my girl….so we talked and came up with other solutions. Well….I told her to do the exact opposite of what he expected…and he reacted differently as well…and it culminated with him leaving…he probably thinks he’s punishing her again…hahaha…she went to work…and is now looking for another job….so see what can happen when you refuse to believe what other people tell you you are…and what can happen when you really believe that you are not what they say? And what did she earn for her trouble??? Some self-confidence back…and a little less anxiety now that her abuser is gone…so more able to focus on positives…also I got her started on a mild sedative to help with the remaining anxiety…I think she’s going to do amazingly well…and I hope some day you will too….You just have to believe you’re worth it and start to change how you think and feel about yourself.
Hoping you find your self-love and respect again soon…it took me many, many, many years…oh yeah…I’ve been through much worse in relationships myself…and am just catching on myself…hahaha…and I am really old.
Love to You…You Are Love
Amakua