I’m so sick and tired of being left behind.
I don’t really no how to describe it. I am just done with everything.
No one really knows how upset I am. I’ve never told anyone why I am like this. Most people, don’t notice how depressed I am. It’s starting to take it’s toll on me though. I stay up until 4am daily now, get as much sleep as I can, repeat. I am constantly tired because I just, don’t… do anything. I mope around my house. The only things i’ve been able to think about today, is how horrible my life is compared to others. I know, we all have different views on how a life could be horrible. But here’s mine;
All I think about daily is a few things. A main contributor is my friend, Alex. I miss him. So much. He recently became more “internet famous” on a website, and since I knew him for so much longer before this even started he told me not to worry about it i’d always be more important. Apparently not. He doesn’t talk to me. And if I ever try to talk to him he either a) doesn’t reply or b) replys sounding rather annoyed. So much, for being so close bro =/
Another thing. No one in my life seems to care about me. It’s just a general horrible feeling. My friends always text me saying ooo guess what just happened look at what I got! I always support them no matter what, because it’s just who I am. But does it really kill you to ask someone how they’re doing once in a while?
‘Cause now i’m just sitting here. In bed. using all willpower to not use this pretty new knife I have in front of me ._.
3 comments
I feel the same way you do. Please..keep your strength. Keep your head up. Things will get better <3
I have a little experience with your situation. Nobody, literally, knows how I feel… even though many have probably contributed to where things are today. 4am and I are often good friends. I can probably count on a few fingers the number of “how are you?” phone calls, text messages, and e-mail I have received. You’re not alone in your situation. It does get tiring. No doubt about it.
What I can suggest is that things will get better. I haven’t given up hope… and I’m working to determine how I can fix things. I’m shoulder-deep and it can be overwhelming. However, I know that it’s ultimately up to me to move forward. If I don’t at least work on it, then I’ll accomplish nothing… and things won’t continue well. I’ve had enough obstacles in life to know that the weight is on me. I’ve made it this far… If I work on it, perhaps things will go further. As for you, it is up to you to take a look at what’s going on… and decide where you want to be. Then start working in that direction. As you gain momentum, things will get easier. DO NOT give up. DO NOT lose hope. YOU are your biggest ally. There will be some new/existing friends who support your efforts. Keep them close.
How are you?