I will make this quick because I’m preparing to die any minute. I’ve become so fed up with the world—with all the people who said they’d be there for me when I needed them. I’ve fought with depression for years and its finally got the better of me. I sit here writing this feeling myself drift in and out of consciousness after taking 12 Oxycodon pills and slitting my wrist and I’m kind of upset I’m getting blood all over my keyboard. The love of my life doesn’t love me, isn’t that a pity party everyone goes through? Only I’m not sure people truly understand just how much I love this person. They pushed me out of their life a year ago, and I waited around for them to realize what they did. A year later they came back but they still treat me like shit. I never waver though, I’m still there whenever this person calls, whenever they need a ride, whenever they need anything, I’m always there. I know this person is using me but I love them so much I just want them to be happy. Even if that means sacrificing my own happiness, which is what I intend to do. I cannot go on anymore. I’ve ruined my life, given up on everything, can no longer fit in with society and its just not worth it anymore. I can’t believe I’m crying, this is just getting pathetic. This is why I can’t go on anymore…because I literally hate myself. Hate is an understatement. I cannot stand any part of my disgusting self. And its not my physical appearance that’s disgusting; its the inside. I hate my personality.
I want to say more to you guys, so much more but everything is becoming distant and blurry and I’m just ready.
Ready to be done with this world.
Goodbye.
p.s. Kaitlyn, I’m sorry.
6 comments
All I can say is I hope God forgives you for you killing yourself. If he dose be happy because you will go somewhere everything will be ok.
I am not dead yet, I don’t know what I’m holding onto but I’m becoming extremely lethargic and heavy. My eyes won’t open all the way and I can’t move my hands from the keyboard because I don’t have enough strength to move them back up. Thank you though, I just want everything to be okay.
I wish I could say something to help. I am a disabled Vet and my disabilities have become so bad I can’t work. I can’t feed myself or my dogs and I see the world all go by all happy. I’m so sorry for your hurt.
I’m in the same place you are in thinking, Knowing life is not worth it any longer.
There are only 2 things I can say:
1: Hopefully God will forgive you for committing suicide. My aunt thinks he wont. But I, sometimes, think otherwise.
2: For some really creepy and weird reason, I wish I was you.
That’s really good that you’re still alive. I can’t think of anything better right now than to have you just wait a bit longer.
Always remember what helps get me through the toughest days; “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”
Please, make it through this.
If not for yourself, then for me. And every other person on this website you will give hope to by being a survivor. I love you, even if you don’t and never will believe it.
i truly hope you live to read this comment. please find hope. somewhere. anywhere. i dont know you, but i have a feeling the world would be a better place with you in it.