I can’t breathe. I just wish god would end me right now.
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i am the bad guy. I’ve gone my whole life thinking I’m a victim of the whole “nice guys finish last” type scenario. But that’s not it. I’m not a nice guy. I’m a worthless prick. I deserve what I’ve been given, because I hurt people. And being hurt myself did not give me an excuse to do that. So I apologize to the people I hurt. You’ll never see this apology, never know that I’m saying sorry, but it’s out there in the ether now. I hope it comes to you in some way.
I wish I knew when I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep beforehand. That way I could just stay up all night and maybe accomplish something before I have to face the next day. Well, I probably wouldn’t accomplish anything, but I’m sure I could do more than lay in bed contemplating pointless thoughts. I just wish I could sleep.
Maybe the most painful words ever spoken to me. I’ll never forget this.
Sleep sleep sleep. It continues to elude me. Been laying here for a couple hours now but all I can think about is going back. Back to the time when things were right. I wish I had someone to talk to. I don’t want to bother anyone in my life and get them tangled up in my depression. That’s not fair to make them be all worried and watching out for me. I think only two, maybe three or four, depending how observant my family members are, know that I’m in this state. Well none of them know it’s this bad, but only those few […]
I’m not sure if I’ve ever wanted to die quite like I do right now. I can see exactly one star out my windshield and it looks like it’s flashing, as if it’s going to die soon. Maybe I will too.
I’ve been following this site for about a month now, but this is my first post on here. I don’t want to get into my backstory and bore everyone, but I’ll probably end up doing that anyways. I don’t even really know what I want to accomplish by writing this. Alleviate some pressure I guess.
I feel like I have nothing left in this life. And then when I find myself thinking that, I tell myself that I’m being an ungrateful little prick, because I have so much. I think there’s something seriously wrong with my brain. If I have nothing worthwhile left, then it should […]