Abselom

Im really tired and sad, but tomorrow I have a picnic party thing to go to. its about an hour and a half away with a bunch of people i traveled with earlier this summer. i would really like to see them, but i dont know if i feel like going.

my father offered to drive me, but i dont want him to.  its a waste of his time and gas.

should i go? of should i puss out? stay home and sleep instead?

Because I cant tell you anything, and i dont want you asking a million questions. I just want everyone to leave me alone today. im tired. im upset. im stressed. and i really dont like that fact that you checked up on me.. it kinda pisses me off. i understand why you did.. but still.

i just want to be left the fuck alone, why cant you understand that dad? why? i dont like being around you. at all.

so why am i lying? because i dont like you and i cant stand being around you.

and to my friend and her mother, i really apologize. it was […]

laying in bed, all alone, crying.

sunflower youre right.

im avoiding my feelings for a reason.

it doesnt matter the reason.

but i am.

Well just a few weeks ago, while I was traveling, my mother lost her job. I figured by the time I got home that things wouldnt be too bad, but that she would be looking for work. Well she has yet to even look for a job. Our finances are really starting to stretch, and I know that, even though she wont admit it. I have been working recently and I am getting a second job soon, while my mother continues to sit at home and not do much.

I understand she is down on her luck, and I don’t want to kick her while she […]

Its been 6 months since i was last here on SP.. Im not sure what compelled me to come back today. but i did. im not sure how long ill stay around the site, but for the time being, im back.

I left several friends on this site, im hoping to find them again.

You know somethings not okay when you dont feel safe on SP

I’m here sitting with my mother. I want to cry but I don’t know why… I want to scream. I wish I had some weed. Even I’d it was just waiting for me at home.

Actually I do know why in so upset. There are several reasons. But I have no wifi so I must get off

I love you now

Ill love you tomorrow

and I will love you always!

Sometimes we say things that we dont mean..

I am here for you! I swear to you that I am… I have been from the start, and I will be until the very end

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I SWEAR

Love you always, Abselom<3

Its not that we always means the word we say exactly how we say them.

We speak (or type) the first words that come to mind.

Our thoughts and feelings that have been kept silent just come pouring out all at once.

We dont mean to be mean or rude or to hurt anyone.. we really dont.

We’ve all been there, right?

It happens?

I am sorry.. Venting and  just putting everything to words…

Just tired and annoyed.  Getting sick of shit

Whatever it is your thinking about me is probably true

Well a while ago when i was severly depressed. (i couldnt even cut myself i was so numb on the inside) all i did was sleep. I got home from school and slept, got back from dance and slept. Sundays? I slept until 4 almost every week. Thats one way i know i am depressed.. i sleep. alot. and i just get tired… where i just dont want to do anything. and sometimes thats normal, sometimes i just like to be lazy… but recently i will just feel tired for no reason.. i slept fine that night, had coffee and should have been wide awake, […]

its crazy how other people affect us so much… how what one person says can just completely change out mood, thoughts, and how we feel about everything, including ourselves.. its crazy…

People are really good at making me feel shitty though… they really truely are…

what that person said to me today “Im just really disappointed in you” made me want to cut.. but i couldnt and that was probably a good thing. Just what that person said really hurt me and just really brought up a bunch of old thoughts and feelings and just really really brought me down…

Just want to sleep…

Death right now, just seems to make things easier. If i just died tonight then NO MORE anything. (obviously) Just seriosuly wish i could die so that i didnt have to deal with anyyyyythinggggggggg.

Doesnt matter what happened or what happens.

Annoyed.

Pissed.

Done.

yeah not sure staying off of SP is really gonna work for me..