Cold and blue
Body bags
Filled
Drowned, frozen, dead
Red/blue lights flash
Tears fall from my lidded eyes
Down, down
Hitting you with a splash
I hold you close for the last time
You’re ripped away
Down to the morgue
Empty
Without
I’ll try
I know it won’t work
Soon I’ll be with you
Passing on
I’m missing
You make me feel so shit. You try to help me but you hurt me. You guys make me feel so depressed. You’ve killed my social life, my only respite from home, my only coping mechanism that seems to work without being overly self-destructive. How can I cope now?
No dad I cannot fucking talk to you, can’t you see?
Every time we talk I stutter. Can’t you see? I’ve never been comfortable around you guys, that’s why I’m always trying to escape. That’s why I do the things I do. It’s all to escape from you guys (mainly) and school.
You guys make me wanna kill […]
Codeine, Bedhead, Bluetile Lounge and other slowcore bands, you all speak my mind so completely. As to escape, it’s impossible. So I wander through school and through life, dealing with it all with drugs, self-harm and music. My solaces are few and far, and do not consist of anything living.
Anti-social yet lonely.
That is me, the freak in the corner, screaming for release. Yearning to leave, but knowing it’s futile.
Slivers of life
Shaven off
Slowly taken
By a knife.
She shouted silently
As my last was gone
I fell to my coffin
For everyone to mourn.
To be in pain
All day long
Was my duty
In this plain old song.
Wasting away, peacefully so
Dieing my death
Finally you’ll know
I just wish I could escape, to get out of here. To just walk endlessly and lie down and die. Just disappear. I’m so fucking done. All the people, all the people; my friends, people I don’t wanna know, people I used to know. I tried and I fucked up, I haven’t had my pills in about a week. I just feel like shit. Everything’s crashing down, gone, just pointless bullshit. I hope she’s okay, I’m just unable to be there for her right now like I should(?) be. I need a reprieve. I need sleep too but that’ll just lead to more school. She […]
To think that she would like me. Who would? Or could? I can’t and won’t.
I was almost convinced she did.
I tried to get to know her, slowly it was working, she appeared to be reciprocating; smiling, laughing etcetera. After a while we got to texting. It was nice for a few messages but then she told me she had to call her boyfriend.
Ripped.
Ripped my heart out, though it’s not her fault and I don’t blame her. I just thought we had stuff in common and we’d get along.
Every one said we’d be good together.
I guess she’ll haunt my dreams […]
It always messes me up. Where is everyone gone? I feel I don’t know anyone, I look at them but there’s nothing, nothing at all. I don’t remember them yet I do, there are memories but no connections??? Idk this is hard to explain. I remember the day it started, it was a strange feeling of becoming infinitely lost in what was once so familiar.
Your eyes, green
Freckled face, in a smile
Walking away, always
Sunny day, I think today
Gone again, again you’re gone
But sometimes we meet
Oh the joy, though quickly faded
Lie in the seat, poetry, jaded
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME YIU DINT KNOW HOW IT HURTS IT HURTS YOURE HURTING ME BUT YOURE TRYING TO HELP YOURE HURTING ME YOURE HURTING ME YOURE HURTING ME YOURE HURTING WHY WHY WHY WHY DONT YOU UNDERSTAND WHY WHY WHY WHY YOU COME IN SHOUTING AT ME SAYING “what’s going on? What’s going on?” BUT I DONT KNOW. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. YOURE HURTING ME YOURE DRIVING ME CLOSER ANS CLOSER THOUGH YOURE TRYING TO HELP AND I APPRECIATE IT BUT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FUCK OFF. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND SO DONT INTERVENE. PLEASE LET ME […]
A broken fence
Some rusty nails
The Old farmer is decrepit and dilapidated
Barrenness is all around
Yet he still ploughs
Holding on
To something that is lost
Everyone’s left
They are but bones in the yard
He shaves his face
Falls to sleep
In a dead cot
In a dead house
Where everything rots
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fick fuck fick fick fuck fuck fick fuck fuck fick fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck fuck. Fuck fuuuuuuuck. I’m just a fuck up. I need to cut.
Me and you
My love is true
Life is hard
Eye to eye
In the yard
And hand in hand
In my head
Faraway dreams
That they are
But maybe someday they’ll be something more….
I had a look at my guitar leads and I realised how easy it would be to asphyxiate asphyxiate yourself. I might do it night. Maybe……..
I get the weirdest sensation in my brain if I don’t take my pills for about 2 days (like now). It feels like there’s like a mini Explosion in my brain or some kind of bubble rolling around up there, it’s quite surreal.
Does anyone know what this could be?
I miss you
So pretty, your smile
It feels like forever
But it’s only been a while
Just a bit more till I die
I wish I got to know you
You bring a tear to my sad eye
It’s true, I love you
I love the way you dance, I love the way you are
They make me feel better émotions-wise but it’s fake, it’s all fake feelings made by some white fucking pill; escitalopram. It doesn’t stopy my suicidal thoughts either, they’re not based on emotion. I don’t want them gone though, they comfort me in times of need. I want to explode. I will explode. I’m fucked.
How much longer can I pretend?
Not much longer, I have no friends
Surrounded, I explode
They’re closing in on me
The walls are falling in
Within my abode
What do I need to be?
To make you happy
Something imposssible
It means sadness
But only for eternity
That’s okay
I deserve it anyway
Everyone always gives me such weird looks whenever I talk or do something. I just say stuff, it’s a constant stream of shit. All because of my anxiety, talking just saying anything is a coping mechanism. People think I’m fucked in the head and they’re right. My actions are also mainly from anxiety, me constantly freaking out and just doing/saying different things because I don’t know any other way to cope except for drugs and self-harm and they’re probably not too good(?). I think I’m gonna flip out tomorrow, I can feel it, it’s not going to be a good day. I kinda feel like […]
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