What a watchful eye. Not a moment is there just for myself.
Those who I confide in my outer most opinion know nothing of my inner pain or what I really think. Those who I have believe I can share this with are no longer the high points of my life. I’m too personal, well I would if anyone took the interest. No one wants the opinion of a 16 year old with all the gadgets and a loving girlfriend. He has the life, what’s to complain about. IM ALONE! I’m fucking alone damnit! What do you care? You don’t! Bu still I will listen […]
I hate myself
When I talk to her
I want to hurt myself
When I think about her I want to hurt myself
When I remember you words
I want to end my life
I want to cry
I don’t have the balls to die.
I’m stronger then I appear at my weakest
But I’m always T my weakest.
A few minutes ago for about half an you I just wanted to cut myself… I feel better after posting this. Thank you. I love you all
What does it mean to show emotion. I guess different thigs to different people. I don’t show my emotion. More or less reunited with my best friend- do excited, yet acted normally. First day of job- awesome and am glad to be growing up, smiles and says was cool. Girlfriend yells at friend girl for being to friendly-terribly distraught, nods and agrees with girlfriend. Text friend to apologize for girls actions and she doesn’t want to associate with me at all- hurt, says I whatever.
I’m not different. But I feel alone. I know I’m not. I can’t show my depression I can only feel it. […]
Where to begin is hard. Then again nothi ge come easy. I’m getting older and more mature obviously but to me, I think others see me as a child. I dont honestly think I’m suicidal. I couldn’t be. The outside looking in my life is complacently perfect. I would be viewed lucky by most. Friends, a loving girlfriend, well liked, two parents, grandparents, a job and not a lot but a reasonable amount of money. In reality though- my best friend is leaving me for a group off cocky self obsorbed pricks; we were close, always different but he was indeed my best friend. My […]
Sorry people hehe the title was just an example of how only serious things get the attention. Just a test is all… Mostly I wanted to be aware of stuff people would want to read about from someone else’s point of view. Sometimes an outside opinion from someone who doesn’t really have a biased opinion might be all you need. I rather understood the comment about pain being on the inside while on the outside it’s damn near hidden. It spoke to me a lot, I know I’m not alone.
It’s still pretty early for bed and I wanted to get up resonably early so […]
Nice title right? Sure as hell got your attention. No its okay scroll on to someone with real problems. As I can see nothing here that gets real attention is personal. It’s simpathetic stories about vague topics. Want that??? I don’t care Bout being “popular”… But there are some real fucked up thoughts in my head I’d more then gladly be willing to share. I know people would be interested to know what goes on in the head of a morbidly depressed 16 year old with 1st world problems on the outside and destructive problems on the inside. What you could witness.
Why I […]
And when it gives you lemons
Fuckin throw em at cars and shit idk,
I apologize for the Tyler the creator drop
It seems that as life goes on I apologize to anyone and no one abou things I mean to do.
Oh well it’s all the same in the end.
Today had no complaints until the almost near end took a shotgun and wasted every last shot.
I didn’t get to hangout with my baby. Oh well really, I see her most of the week. My girlish friend invites me to the mall with which I meet up with abun. Of people and have a great […]
My best friend. Gone. Then my courage allows it back. We were non influenced teens. He fell in with a different Crowd and started liking different things. This wasn’t so bad but we drifted more and more over time. I got the balls to come out and say what was up. Then I’m told that his newer friend introduced him to a girl, he lost his v card, she fucked around with his head and he slipped into depression. With which his friend got him to smoke weed… Though you wouldn’t think it from the outside, knowing him for so long I wouldn’t believe these […]
I promised to do one every day before bed and I shall. Life hurts. Those around us have 100% impact on that hurt. My baby was dull as fuck around me each time I saw her durring school hours. I didnt care. I was hurt and I had had a damn rough night before. She knew this. Oh well what’s done is done. Until she gets angered in a few weeks and brings it all up again. It seems reoccurring that I still want to kill everyone. I know how. I have to technology. Oh well as long as everyone else gets to be happy […]
From my last post I the comments I guess it’s clear that some understood and some took their spin on it. Oh well :3 I think I will post something on here every day. With no one I want to listen due to overbearing and unreasonable care this is perfect vent. I want to say that I love my girlfriend so much. She loves me. We don’t fight, and we have the occasional argument along with disagreements. Today, sigh, like many days… My parents are gone and were alone, “locked” outside but alone. It seems that she will tease me to no end. I shall. […]
Where to begin is hard. Then again nothi ge come easy. I’m getting older and more mature obviously but to me, I think others see me as a child. I dont honestly think I’m suicidal. I couldn’t be. The outside looking in my life is complacently perfect. I would be viewed lucky by most. Friends, a loving girlfriend, well liked, two parents, grandparents, a job and not a lot but a reasonable amount of money. In reality though- my best friend is leaving me for a group off cocky self obsorbed pricks; we were close, always different but he was indeed my best friend. My […]