Does anyone know what the point of life is? Because I’m scared it’s just “having fun”. Like there’s no actual good or truth in the world everything is pointless and meaningless, and just garbage. I have no one to talk to I don’t even see any point still I’m scared I’m always going to feel like this, it’s been years and nothing gets better even though I’ve tried. I’ve tried meds, I’ve done therapy, I’ve been hospitalized, it never lasts and never works.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I just want someone to connect with and talk to and get to know again. I wish someone wanted to get to know me and want to talk all about their life and mine. I just want a connection with someone again and to have someone there for me, truly.
azureblu1111@gmail.com
That’s my email if anyone wants to talk, it can be about anything I just need a distraction from my broken relationship and hopefully not feel so alone.
(6:00am)
So I’m 18 now, and my boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend now, started living with me at my parents house after a whole messy thing where I ran away, got hospitalized. It was a mess, but now he broke up with me saying, and I quote, “I’m more than happy to say we are broken up for once”. The reason he said that is because he accused ME of cheating, like none of the bullshit he’s pulled in our relationship was worse than me just talking to a guy who used to be interested in me. Now he always reminds me about how we aren’t together by […]
I wish I had never been born, I shouldn’t have been born. My mother wasn’t even supposed to be able to have kids and almost died multiple times trying to have me. I almost died and wasn’t even supposed to make it past a few months of living when I was born. I’m currently laying on the bathroom floor in the robotics area of my school because I didn’t feel like going to class, again. I skip a lot more now and I’m still in so much fucking pain from when they left. I started smoking cigarettes, cutting, and burning myself since they left. October […]
So I took 75 mg of sertraline, and I think I should only be taking 25 mg so is taking 3 times that okay?
I in my screwed up emotional state I’m in now sent some texts to my friend and now she is going to know I’m not okay, hopefully she wont care and will believe the lies I’m going to tell her to cover up what I sent her.
I have to end it now I cant stand breathing anymore. I’m going to make all my notes and from now on am going to spend my time making notes and looking for ways on how to end it. I’m sorry I just can’t fight anymore, I’m done….
I swear that even the fucking teachers here are trying to make my life miserable on purpose. The one time I actually find a place where I can sit at lunch where no one can mess with me I’m of fucking course not allowed to be there.
What would happen if I drank a ton of bleach? Would that for sure kill me?
Fuck my nerves, I can’t do anything anymore for no real reason except them. I can’t even sleep anymore….
I wish I still had a reason to wake up
I realized that I’m not living because I want to,or because I have hope that maybe tomorrow or a few days from now will be better….I’m only living because if I did kill myself it would make others lives worse,even though those lives I would be making worse by dieing are the same people who are making my life a living hell. I’m not here because I have hope or because I have a will to live….I’m just empty,but for some reason I still have to be here.