https://youtu.be/gQDwxfLlZcM
Let’s start with this.
I’ve been suicidal recently. It’s festered in my mind for a while now. Actually for a few months. I may not express when I’m feeling suicidal. When the thoughts cross my mind. I don’t typically like to express my personal suicidal tendancies unless I feel as if I’m going to actually act upon it. Or if I came up with a method to take my own life. As everyone can tell, I mostly spend my time talking with other people about their problems and what I can do to help them out. I’m sure I’ve done this with almost every […]
It’s time for me to talk. I’m ready. I’m here. I have time reply now.
7 hours left.
The clock is ticking.
Here are some video uploads.
https://youtu.be/-Agl2IMNQ4E
https://youtu.be/3i9SfEJcCGA
https://youtu.be/RZy9DyoXf2k
11 hours left.
I ended up at my mothers. I hate this place. I fucking hate this place. But I have to act normal.
I took me test. It was a bunch of mathimatical questions, story questions, thing you would answer for a high school test. It was all timed. I passed. The pizza place hired me. I am suppose to start work this Fridad at 5:30. Go through my paper work process. And get fimiliar with the job. But it’s all pointless. It’s not like I plan on living past tonight anyways. But you know what I did it. I went there and did it anyways. […]
12 hours left.
I managed to shower and get ready for my test. I put make up on. I did my hair. Im wearing normal clothes. This is a big accomplishment for me today. For everyone reading and replying, thank you. Im sorry that I will be posting a lot. Like I said. Im a book. This is my final chapter. And I want it to be rememberable.
15 hours left.
I didn’t sleep last night. I laid awake on a couch. I didn’t want to sleep. I was afraid to sleep. Now all I want to do is sleep as I get ready for that pointless test. I’ve realized. This is my last day on earth. Everything I do today is the last. From eating, to pretending like im going to be alive the next day. In about 2 hours I will be back to it. I might sleep for a while. I might stay up for the next 13 hours. I don’t know. I’m tired. I’m so tired. Not just in a […]
23 hours left. (I’m sorry I’m going to post so much.)
Suicide Project. The name in it’s own.
Have you ever thought about is? Suicide project. That name. It’s cleaver. I would like to believe that it is that for a reason. For a purpose.
We the people of Suicide Project are almost like lab rats. Being watched. Just a group of people struggling with what is simpily death. I imagine someone is observing us. Seeing how we react to each other. How we help each other. What it’s like to be suicidal. Or you can look at it this way.
We are an ongoing project. As long […]
After my test tomorrow with the piza place thay interviewed me this week. And I say good bye to my dog, write or type or video recored everything im done. Im fucking done. I cant handle this anymore. Im not going through this again. Im not going to be homeless. Im not goint to be jobless. Im not going to be carless. Im not going to suffer being alone. Im not going through this. I cant take it! I cant fucking take it! I hate myself! I hate everything! I HATE MY LIFE! Im done im fucking done!
IM SORRY SP! IM SORRY EVERYONE! IM SORRY! […]
It finally happened. Now im out on the streets.
Im decently buzzed right now. Something came to mind.
I remember the last post i saw from Salt.
It was a video of him.
I cant recal what he said but i remember what he did.
Snapping his hands and moving his arms back and forth.
Something about lutinet.
I miss Salt.
I hope that he is in a better place.
I remember now. It was sergeant pasley.
If you don’t hear from me tomorrow I’m sorry. At least my profile will still be here. At least there is something left behind of me. Something someone can look back on. At least I know I will be missed by everyone here. At least I know you guys care. But it’s not enough right now. If I’m heard from by tomorrow night, I made it through tonight. I imagine them waking up in the morning to find my corpse hanging in the bedroom. I imagine what they would do or say. I hope I can watch them cry. I hope I can see their […]
I’m waiting until morning to blow a gasket. Because once everyone leaves, hes going right to bed and will get pissed off at me for talking about it. I’m so frustrated. I’m not ok tonight. So much anger, so many thoughts. It’s going to eat me alive, and fast.
So my boyfriend and his friends are talking about strip clubs in front of me while we are playing cards. And I threw out there that I am not ok with him going to one. He said that’s ok. Then I told him to expect me to be mad if you go. He has the nerve to tell me ok, I’ll stll gobto one anyways. Fuck you. If he goes to one knowing im not ok with it I’m done with him. That is not ok with me at all. You can tell me what I can and cannot do, but I can’t? Fuck you.
I just had an allergic reaction. Fuck you Taco Bell. Death by onion. Ugh. Anyone else have a food alergy?
I’m heading to bed everyone. I’ve been sleeping on and off due to the benadryl. My throat hurts and I’m starting to get loopy once again. Hah funny thing about things that put you to sleep. I may pass out for a few minuts then wake up feeling high or something similar. Insomnia is great…
To play a game or something? I think it would be nice to think of an interactive game to play on the forum. Something to get our minds off of things.
We can do mad libs?
I will start, you will need to fill in these blank spaces first. Then transfer them to my short story. Copy and paste so we can all see what you came up with?
A Name _____
A Time _____
Adjective ______
Noun ______
Name again (the same as the first) _____
Verb ending in ing _____
Verb ending in ing _____
Noun _____
Noun _____
Verb _____
A Place _____
Another place _____
I woke up next to a name, today at a time. I’m thinking […]
For those of you who have taken the time to listen to me.
I got my three month test 2 weeks ago.
My results came back negative.
Fuck you Zak, I hope you enjoy having hpv 2. I’m glad I didn’t catch it from you
(Fair warning this is 2,467 words long. Some of you may remember my last post that was roughly 2,400 words long. So if you enjoy reading this is my book. This is my life.)
Not a whole lot of people will know where I left of during my last visit. So I appologize if you’re confused. It’s time again to type my life out.
I imagine I’m similar to a book. Now to start a new chapter.
As you may know I was planning on moving to Bristol, in Europe. We had left off on my last bout that I had found […]
I fell asleep for a few hours. It was amazing. Anyone else struggling with sleep?
When you are on again, or done lurking. Shoot me a response and we can pick up where we left off.