BlueHappiness

Its 10 am .. And I still didn’t sleep.

To be honest, I’m really tired.

I’m tired of crying

I’m tired of yelling

I’m tired of pretending

I’m tired of being alone

I’m tired of being angry

I’m tired of being abused

I’m tired of feeling crazy

I’m tired of feeling stuck

I’m tired of needing help

I’m tired of missing things

I’m tired of missing people

I’m tired of being different

I’m tired of feeling worthless

I’m tired of feeling empty

I’m tired of dreaming about a life I will never have

But most of all,

I’m just tired of being tired.

I just wish my time is near.

Its been almost a year since I last posted here. I decided to get back on my feat and thankfully, I did. It was extremely hard to do tho. I went through drug/alcohol abuse for a fairly long time afterwards but Im fine now .. up until tonight. I started using cigarettes as a way to cope with my emotional pain. Anyway, I was smoking in the house tonight and forgot my ashtray in the bathroom. I still felt drained and depressed on most days but it was easier to cope with. My Dad (who also smokes) used my bathroom to wash his hands and […]

I think I’m just about done. Done with this all. Done with my life. Done with even trying to fix it. I just had a fight with my best friend. She was just about the most person I trusted and cared for. She said that she doesn’t want me anymore in her life because I “don’t care enough” about her. Those words really sting. She says I’m not there for her but truth is, she’s not there for me either. She was the only person I used to talk to about anything whenever I feel down and she’ll make me laugh instantly to cheer me […]

Hello everybody. As you can see the title pretty much says it all. I just wanted to get your opinion about this. I know that spirits exist but I don’t know whether the Ouija Board works or not. Some say it does and others say that it doesn’t. This has been on my mind for a pretty long time but I just can’t seem to get my hands on one … maybe I should make one myself? lolol I have no problem making one myself. It’s like 4 AM and I’m kind of bored. So .. Yay or Nay ??

*Cheers*

˙ʎןʇuǝɹǝɟɟıp sbuıɥʇ ǝǝs   *Turn the screen*

This happened so fast. I finally have the will to live. I think I finally have enough will power to get myself out of this … It’s time for me to see things differently. See life differently. See my future differently. I’m tired of feeling this way. Enough with the pain. Enough with the tears. As much as I want my pain to stop, I don’t want my life to end. Instead of ending it, I’m going to change it. I have been feeling really shitty the last few days and I thank everybody that tried/did cheer me up. lol […]

I don’t know who to trust these days.

Seems like everybody in this world knows how to back-stab one another.

I’m living in a world with 7 billion people

And 14 billion faces …

Listen to “When I’m gone – Eminem”

{Chorus}

And when I’m gone,just carry on, don’t mourn

Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice

Just know that I’m looking down on you smiling

And I didn’t feel a thing So baby don’t feel no pain

Just smile back

I can’t help but think, that could be me saying those final words …

One song can change my point of view about life completely. I may be completely down and helpless. I’ll listen to “Tinie Tempah – Invincible”. And I’ll suddenly have a rush of hope. When I’m in a good mood, I’ll listen to “Rihanna – Cry” for example and I’ll feel down and helpless again. I guess there’s a hidden feeling behind certain songs …

“Everything’s gonna be okay”, I soothe myself.

I calm myself down

Say I just have to give it time

I convince myself that all scars heal

I wipe away a teardrop

It’s a black teardrop

I think that I’ve lost hope

I don’t know yet

I say it’s okay

“Tomorrow will be better” I tell myself

Only this time,

I choose not to believe my lies anymore

I choose not to get back up, for now

I feel tackled

I feel cold

I feel defeated

As I watch my black tear drops fall

Hey there. So I finally created an account here. I used to open suicideproject whenever i feel suicidal, but never really had an account to post or comment or anything. I could just sit here and read all your stories. And honestly, some bring tears to my eyes because they keep reminding me of the pain I currently feel. I feel so bad for anyone of you who knew jeremy or kallie. I’m sure they were great people. May their souls forever rest in peace.