So I am beginning to understand and accept what is.
That being that there are some people I shouldn’t expect certain things from.
idk maybe it’s hard for one sad person to listen to another sad persons problems
I’m feeling it more and more lately.
this overwhelming coldness that seems to reverberate through me when I’m left alone to my thoughts.
Not too sure how much longer I can keep playing this game of pretend.
just seems everything I do does not amount to anything
there’s so few things in life that I have an actual appreciation for and sometimes it’s enough but mostly it’s just not
i need more and I just don’t think I’m going to find it here
I feel particularly heavy in my heart tonight
I recently found out that a very dear friend of mine was abused a couple years back and it breaks my absolute heart.
I would sell my soul to the devil to protect them from anything and for some reason I feel an overwhelming sense of what I only know as regret, for not being able to prevent what transpired those years ago despite the fact that we didn’t even know each other at the time.
I promise to do my absolute best at protecting you and I’m glad you are as strong as you are to have come this […]
Honestly just feeling like I need to get this out somewhere
I’m really struggling with life at the moment
I’m finding it hard to continue putting effort into friendships and relationships with people I love Sometimes I feel it reciprocated.
But most of the time I forget my shit worth and step out of line and and expect more.
I very much want to go and be gone
All this, is just sometimes hard to know how to live in.
So yeah
I’m too tired to care and I want to go
I am sad again
I don’t want to exist right now
i don’t want to lose connections I’ve made with people but fuck right now I just really do not want to exist.
There’s a good chance no one would reach out to me were I to not be present anyway. There’s doesn’t seem to be anyone who ever asks how I’m going or what I’m up to, even at my best of times.
I don’t really know why I care about anything but I do. Maybe that’s a good thing?
The fact that I am able to find things in life worth living for
Namely a newfound best friend
I love her so […]
I wish I could leave things be, but I’m so fixated on being the best possible friend I can be and a part of that is to make sure I’m there every minute of every day for people when I don’t in fact need to be
I think I’m just scared that if I don’t make my effort, I’ll be forgotten. Because that’s what all my experiences have been like.
Too often do I find myself thinking no one misses me. I don’t think anyone has truly reached out to me in years. No one knows where I am at mentally. No one cares. […]
I’ve reached a point in my life where I’m not sure who I am or what I even want out of anything.
Its no secret to myself that I’m fucking miserable. I guess I’ve spent so much time focusing on how upset I am that I didn’t notice how truly alone I am.
I have best friends. But I have no best friend. No one wants to hang out with me regularly or talk to me, but really what can I expect when I’m such a downer.
I truly believe that no one could fucking love me. I guess I can accept that. Just sucks.
Also hey SP
its been […]
Wake up. You hate your life
Wake up. Stare at the ceiling. Hate the fact that you have to get up for school or work, whatever it may be. Or hate that you have to try and fill the day with something so as to pas the time before you’re tired enough to fall back asleep.
Wake up. Drag yourself into the bathroom. Have a shower because they’re fucking great. Almost as good as sleeping. You don’t want to get out. But you have shit to do and you fucking hate it.
Wake up. Check your phone and realise nobody cares about you. No messages, no notifications. No […]
sometimes i just skim through the pages to remind myself that I’m not the only one who feels this way
You lay awake in bed at night wondering where every little thing went wrong.
You create amazing friendships hoping they will spark into something intimate. You spend days, weeks, months and occasionally years talking to someone only to one day realise the effort disappears and you find that you are now the instigator. They never message you first, or call or whatever. It’s up to you.
Then one day you decide “okay, I’m not going to start the conversation this time. I will wait for them to instigate it.” Next thing you know you it’s been a few days and then weeks and months and you realise […]
fuck being alone. I’m sick of it.
Everyone that matters to me leaves before they’re suppose too and it’s not fair.
stop giving up on me
Not wanting to do something because it has never panned out positively
Yet risking the chance of a missing a positive outcome by not doing it
i am tired, i am torn
Half the reason I stick around anywhere is because I have nowhere else to go
if it was so easy to walk out on my job and my friends and family, I would step right into a new life. But there’s nothing else out there for me.
There’s nowhere left to turn
its a dangerous thing being left alone with your thoughts
even the positive ones
It’s hard feeling so alone sometimes. The nights are cold and long. My body is pretty tired and my mind is worn down from all the overthinking both positively and negatively.
I constantly feel like I’m losing everyone important to me. I have a lot of friends, it’s true, but I long for companionship. I need somebody to console me. I have lost a lot but I’ve thrown away more. I realise that.
It’s hard wanting love but not accepting it. The one thing I want most, is the one thing that I’m terrified of
Feeling unwanted is the sole reason I hurt inside. Yet letting someone in […]
Sometimes it’s gets too much. The little things.
all these thoughts, they are restricted to my head alone for they are too intense to share with my friends. Or anyone for that matter.
I wish I could achieve the peace of death without actually dying.
id like to just ‘go away’ and watch people’s lives go on without me. See their behavior and how fast I’m forgotten.
i wake up but I never truly wake up.
What at I mean is that my eyes open and my mind is awake to the idea of knowing it’s a new day and I need to get up. But my body is physically drained. My mentality is dead. My heart is tired and my motivation to get through another day is just nowhere to be found.
I am just so exhausted.
I have a job which I love but the motivation to get up is just…. I can’t. I hate it. My feet drag, my eyes water, I’m so tired, always. And it’s not a lack of sleep […]
Tonight I feel lonelier then ever. I have absolutely no one to spend time with.
I decided to go movies but have ended up drinking alone at an empty bar haha. Fuck I’m lonely
I just want someone who is excited and willing to reach out to me to hang out. I see all my friends leaving hand in hand. Then there’s just me. I have no one.
I like life but I wish I didn’t have to live. That is to say I wish I didn’t need the things necessary to live in order to go on living. If […]
I feel like shit and want to be cared for
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