I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. Everything is going wrong with my life right now and I feel nothing. Not anger, not sadness, nothing.
I just have this emptiness that I cannot fill. What’s funny is that people have been telling me that i look happier lately. Hilarious.
At this point I wish I was sad or angry. I wish I felt something. This enotionlessness scares me to no end. It makes me numb to things. I’m scared I will do something to myself.
I laugh it off and “smile though the pain” because I think if my body looks happy then I will […]
These days I don’t feel anything. Things that I used to care about seem uninteresting.
I feel like I have been on a road to self destruction. I see myself doing things that I know will only hurt me, but I can’t bring myself to care. I can’t bring myself to care about anything anymore and that scares me.
My grades are slipping, my relationship with my parents is straining.
I know that I should try to fix everything while I still can, but I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to do anything anymore.
The thought of dying have been on […]
Happy. That’s a word I wish would visit me more often. As I sit here and write my “feelings” or whatever, I think about the “happy” moments of my life. You know, when life looked colorful and pretty.
What changed?
That’s something I would love to know.
I was never miserable. I was always smiling and I did what I was supposed to.
Maybe that’s where I went wrong, maybe I should’ve rebelled a little.
Maybe I should’ve experienced more things.
Maybe, then, I wouldn’t feel so wretched and miserable.
I keep thinking that I will run out of tears, but they just keep coming.
For a while now, I’ve been experiencing this feeling of emptiness. Things that used to interest me, don’t anymore. No matter what I do, I feel like something is missing. I just don’t know what that is.
It’s so frustrating.
I always feel like crying. It seems like all I do these days is cry; I try to stop, but the tears just keep coming like a broken faucet.
Urghhhh why am I like this? I don’t understand my own feelings. The smallest things make me mad. The smallest things make me sad.
Sometimes, the tears come with no warning and I feel this pressure […]
Since I’ve joined this site, I have only posted once. Not because I felt like this didn’t help, but because sharing my feelings is like sharing my soul; and I couldn’t bring myself to share anything truly worth sharing. I wish I’d shared some of my thoughts with all of you guys because maybe I wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed right now. I’m “happy.” I guess.
I keep saying those as if one day even I will start believing them. I can’t open up to anyone in fear they will not understand me. My culture does not exactly believe in mental disorders. This all makes everything […]
Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to hold my life in my hands, knowing that at any moment it could end. I find myself clutching a knife and wondering what would happen if I just thrust it into my stomach or into my throat. I sometimes go to the bathroom and take the bleach and hold it in my hands willing myself to drink it. Even in my most happiest moment, the thought of death still manage to pierce my inner most thoughts and I become at the mercy of my self-doubts and self-hatred. I think about death more than I think about life.I […]