So as anyone who has been around for a while and saw my last post knows, I said that I would reduce posting here, mostly because I was doing so well that I didn’t feel like I needed to anymore. This has mostly continued, few bad days or weeks here and there, but all up 2013 has been the best year I’ve had since 2010 by a long shot. Anyway I recently went back over all my posts and one in particular caught my eye. It was written a year ago yesterday and basically mentioned how I was turning 17 on the 9th and only […]
Hey, I know it’s been a couple of months since I’ve posted, and I’m really sorry if anyone worried, but the truth is, I’ve been doing really well. I’ve stopped taking medication, and have actually been out and social and been doing assignments and stuff so much that I haven’t had time to write anything. I mean sure I had little things like friend/boyfriend/family fights and shit, but I’ve been so social that I’ve had friends come and help me through it. My post traumatic stress and depression symptoms are reducing by the day, and although I know I can relapse at any time, it […]
I know this is a page devoted to suicidal feelings, but I’m in a good and sharing mood and am going to try something a little different if anyone’s interested. Basically you just have to send me the letters to you name or a certain word (if you’re uncomfortable giving out your name) and I’ll answer the questions that go with it 🙂
A. WHY MY LAST RELATIONSHIP ENDED.
B. FAVORITE BAND.
C. WHO I LIKE AND WHY I LIKE THEM.
D. HARDEST THING I’VE EVER BEEN THROUGH.
E. MY BEST FRIEND.
F. MY FAVOURITE MOVIE.
G. SEXUAL ORIENTATION.
H. DO I SMOKE/DRINK?
I. HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS?
J. WHAT I WANT TO BE […]
I’m actually feeling really well today. I mean sure some douchebags upset me with a comment they made about suicidal people (basically that anyone who commits suicide doesn’t deserve to be loved after they’re gone), but too many good things have happened today for it to ruin my day. So today was National Suicide awareness day and I honestly thought the only people who would care and do something about it were my friends and I (and maybe one or two others), but when I got to school, the first thing I saw was a bunch of popular girls and guys with the word love […]
Population: over 6 billion. Major western powers: USA. My country: Australia. My view of it: Slowly sinking down hill. Why? Mainly politics, but there’s some other factors that are found not only here, but everywhere. Ignorance is a main one. But not just any type of ignorance, it’s the type when people honestly think they know and understand everything. It pisses me off because I want to scream at them for being so ignorant and acting like they know everything, but I can’t bring myself to because I know they honestly think and feel like they do. I use to be the same. It comes […]
I’ve just done it again. Lost my temper at something so insignificant that it shouldn’t matter. Basically what happened was my sister was complaining about how much her life sucks and that mum and dad are so horrible to her (trust me, they aren’t) and all that and I just lost it. It’s not even because I’m pissed at her saying it, I mean I did the same type of thing at her age, but I’m just so jealous. I’ve always been jealous of her, I mean why shouldn’t I be? She’s the popular, normal, pretty one that everyone wanted to be around and I […]
It’s done. That final thing I had is about to be taken away from me. First my family made me their scapegoat, then I found out that 90% of my so called “friends” actually have been bitching behind my back for nearly as long as I’ve known them and now my boyfriend is going to leave me. Basically this girl (ex girlfriend) he slept with (with protection) is trying to say that it didn’t work and that she is pregnant. She has also given him an ultimatum, either he goes back to her and they be a “perfect” family, or he will never see the […]
I give up. I’m done with having people pretend to care about me and then tell me they don’t when things get tough. I’m just going to go back to the quiet old me who doesn’t make a sound when things get bad. Sure the psychological side effects will get to me, but whatever, as long as everyone else is happy, it’s all good, right? Or maybe I should just get the gun and get this over and done with now and let everyone else be happy without being a burden… it’s all win win, so why not?
CPC
Somewhere to scream. Somewhere to fall apart. Somewhere where I don’t need to be perfect to be appreciated. I could fall face first and still feel okay. I could speak my mind without fear of what will happen next. I could be me without being a disappointment. I would never have to be perfect again. I could learn what I think is important for my life rather than what the Government decides will help me. I mean lets face it, when will I use Shakespearean English or Functions and Relations again? I want to learn to fix up a car, to sew, to cook and […]
This may seem a little weird to put up here, but once you read it, hopefully it will make sense. Basically this was a challenge to show that Taylor Swift lyrics could be interpreted as more than just break up and love lyrics. The only rules I had were:
I had to use multiple songs
I couldn’t change the lyrics
I couldn’t add any words that weren’t Taylor Swift lyrics
The storyline is of me and an ex. It really just goes through the highs and lows of our relationship, not just as a romantic couple, but also as friends. Basically what happened was we met when we were […]
I’ve been sick. I couldn’t and still can’t go to school, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep and I can barely function. It’s all thanks to a stupid stomach bug.. well at least I think it is. The doctors seem to think it’s something else, but they can’t agree on what. Some say it’s just a stress ulcer, some think it’s something to do with gore bladder and others think it’s a whole range of things. Either way they think they’ll have the results by this afternoon. I hope they’re right. All this pain is unbearable, and that’s not to mention the stress I’ll be […]
This is suppose to be over 30 days, but I’ll probably forget about it if I do that, so I’ll do it all now. To be honest, I don’t cut anymore, but I still thought it would be useful to do.
1. How long have you been self harming? Discuss why you started.
On and off for around three years. The first time I started when my brother tried to commit suicide and all the stress from that.
2. What part of your body is most affected by it?
Legs, breasts, back, you know, all the places that are easy to hide the scars
3. What […]
I’ve always believed in giving everyone another chance and to forgive but not forget and all that, but what happens when the person who fucked up your life the most apologizes? The so called man who pushed your friend to commit suicide and your brother to attempt? The so called man who bullied and harassed you not only physically and emotionally, but sexually too for years before who took that final step and raped you. The reason you don’t trust, you don’t sleep and the reason you don’t even recognize yourself. Am I suppose to take the “right” way out and forgive him? Or do […]
this is to hopefully lighten you day/night up a bit 😛
Okay, so earlier tonight the boyfriend and I had a massive fight. He came back about 10 minutes ago and came in and asked if I love him and so on. I said I did and he ran back to his car. I was confused and so I looked out the window and saw him grab a ring sized box. I remembered back to a few weeks ago when he made a comment that he was so sure I was the one for him that he would marry me that day to prove it. All […]
Knives are put in the back, words are said, it all comes back to me and now I’m left alone. It always happens, yet I keep trying to convince myself that it will be different next time. But this time I know that it won’t. I now realize that I’m just a stupid seventeen year old trying to see this world for something it’s not… good. I’m done this time. I’m not going to pretend anymore. I’m just going to be little old forever alone me and forget that I ever had so called friends and family… it’s the only way
CPC
Today I went to school as normal, but instead of going to psychology, I had to go to do a chemistry prac I missed out on earlier in the week (worth 25% of my grade). Everything was fine until the teacher (not my usual one) started screaming at everyone. For the first time (in a school environment) my PSTD started to kick in and I started getting flashbacks of when my ex would scream at me before hitting me. I started having an anxiety attack, and before I knew it, everything was blurry and I was on the floor nearly crying. The teacher and assistant […]
I’m so angry. I went to school today after nearly a week off as a result of being physically and mentally unwell. I had to go see a specialised area of the school to explain why I am doing my presentation tomorrow instead of last Tuesday. Truth of the matter was it was a group assignment, the rest of the group did nothing, I didn’t get it done on time (got like 90% done) and then when I told the teacher, she told me to do it alone next class and see student services. Apart from the fact I had to rewrite it, I was […]
Hey, I know I posted like not too long ago, but I need a favour from anyone willing to help. If I were to put on an anonymous survey about religion (I know it’s not a popular subject, but it’s for an assignment), would both religious and atheist people be willing to do it? Basically the questions will probably be like:
Are you religious? If so, what religion do you practice?
Do you believe non Christian nations should celebrate Christmas/Easter as a public holiday?
Should we be having public holidays for other religions celebrated days?
So would you be willing to help? By the way, it’s totally […]
I don’t even know what I want to write lol. I guess I just want to say thank-you for all the support not just last night, but all the time it really helps 🙂 Anyway I’m feeling a lot better today and even got up and finished an assignment (for someone as lazy and apathetic as me, that’s an achievement :P), now I have to perform it Thursday. Kinda nervous about that because I’m terrible at presentations, but it should end up okay. My bestfriend / boyfriend also came back from his business trip today with a giant bunch of roses and chocolate. I was […]
I just feel so terrible. I’ve realized now that it’s not going to get better, I’m not going to get better. I just wish I could go, but my mother is in the next room and I couldn’t do that to her… I probably wouldn’t have the guts anyway, but just knowing my mother is there makes it even less likely I could do anything… I just want it to all stop…
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