Crazypandachick

“They/He’s too good for you.”
“You’re a lying whore”
“You’re a screwed up, deceiving *****”
“You’re a murderer”
“You deserved to get raped after everything you’ve done”
“I hope you die alone and rot in hell”
“Here, how about you use this and do everyone a favour by shooting yourself the way you lied saying that he did”

Words I hear yelled at me whenever I go out. Seems like everywhere I go, no one can get over the mistakes I’ve made and the bullshit stories they’ve heard. It all happened over a year ago and I’ve had proof showing that I was being truthful, yet […]

Have any of you just felt like a sex toy? Like whenever someone touches you (even if it’s innocently), they just want to use you to pleasure themselves until something new and possibly better comes along. It’s as if they don’t see you as their friend, but instead a prostitute to suit their needs without the commitment. This is how I feel all the time. It just makes me feel so guilty because I know 95% of the people I know do not see me like that, especially my boyfriend, but it’s just how I feel. I mean I have been sexually abused and even […]

I didn’t want to die, I really didn’t… and I still don’t. I just wanted the pain to all go away. The name calling, the threats,  numbness, the lack of a functioning life, the flashbacks and most importantly, the self loathing. So I went to go get the gun. I was so close to getting it when my sister walked in. That’s when I decided I couldn’t do it. God knows what made me decide it. Maybe it was because I know exactly how it feels to lose someone that way, but it was as if I felt something for the first time in over […]