do you enjoy starting drama? i cant love my family because all they want to do is start drama because its what you thrive on. my father hid me and my sister from the world just so we wouldn’t end up like them and now we have terrible social skills, shes doing better than me though, i cant make friends because when i try to reach out to people they think im creepy or weird. all the people that supposedly love me keep treating me like dirt. i cant find my way and i just dont know what to do anymore but look back on […]
ive been trying to keep a happy face on for the last week because i dont want to hurt anyone anymore. its kind alike at first they were worried about me and now its old news and i make them sick to their stomach or something, i dont want to be a burden and i dont want people to feel obligated to listen to my whining. it hurts though, knowing that none i know has the power to help me. it hurts that i cant find a way out of my own misery and it hurts that i’ve reached out to everyone and nothing has […]
sooo everyone i know has a best friend, their sidekick and vice versa and it makes me feel so horrible that i dont have one….i miss the goodays when life was good and i had friends that cared about me. i dont want this life anymore im so lonly and noone even notices let alone care. i miss going on outtings with friends and just being crazy and now im stuck at home while their having fun with their friends because they moved on with their life and dont need me anymore. i want to disinigrate fromt his earth andhave noone remember me.
so i have a doctors appointment for my depression on December 3rd….. that date runs through my mind everyday like its my birthday or something.. i think th appointment is just so the doctor can refer me to another doctor which is gonna be really disappointing. i used to be able to get through some days but now everyday is hard to get through. i have trouble keeping myself from going over board and my nights are worse. i feel anxsious for some reason and restless..i cant sleep at night until it gets real late and then im exhausted for school in the morning. i […]
i feel so stuck in this life, school, work, homework, boredom. my “friends” never have time to hang out so the only interaction i get is with my boyfriend and fake friends who only use me for my cigarettes or money. i yearn for an adventurous life but it just seems impossible. i have no major in college because none of them interest me and i can no longer imagine a future for myself. i have terrible social skills so making new friends is next to out of the question.. i see other people laughing and having a good time and my envy enrages me, […]