I just found out today that one of the senior managers at work died over the weekend. I got so jealous. All of the feelings I had at my father-in-law’s funeral (two and a half years ago) came flooding back. I was jealous of him, even to the point of anger; I wanted to be the one lying there.
Is it so much to ask?!
:-/
dad
dad
Married for 18 years to a loving and supportive woman. Have four wonderful children. Have a good job. Am still here because of a strong support network. Lost Regained my faith. Sad. Tired.
does anyone have any experience w/ this type of therapy? Or, have you even heard of it?
I went to a new therapist today and this is what she suggested, but my family doctor had never even heard of it!
I’ve posted this before, but no one responded. I’m hoping some of the newer folks are familiar w/ it. The therapist I’m seeing (have had four session so far) sure is sold on it, and I want to believe her. I guess I’m a bit jaded, though, after all these years.
If this doesn’t work I’ll try another therapist then ECT.
I’m just concerned that […]
i just want say a huge THANK YOU to all of you post here. This has been a life-long struggle, and just having this forum and you folks has been a great help to me.
I’m am by no means done fighting, and knowing you all are there for me to express these turbulent feelings too helps me to keep my head in the fight. My heart seems to have given up long ago so a logical approach is all I have left. When the illogical and irrational thoughts creep in it helps me to tell you all.
I hate that y’all are struggling too, […]
im fed up w/ feeling this way
Let the sadness fade into anger
Not directed at anyone in particular
Take it out on ME
Cause a painful death
Maybe causing myself agony will show em all I wasn’t looking for an easy way out
No big deal, right? Cept it’s carved into my thy. I’m 34 years old! Who the fuck has fresh cuts at 34?! And why my own god damned name?! What am I?! I tried to lie n say it was an accident, hoping she didn’t see what it said, but she asked, “then why is it your name?”
All I could say is, “it’s personal; don’t mention it to anyone. We’ll talk about it later.”
Really?! WTF am I supposed to say?
all these feelings swirling around, and it just keeps growing. Had a good Saturday. Golf w/ dad, brother, and son. I’ve got to get up Sunday and try to have another good day. I’m scared. Good days give way to bad days. Always. Joy is fleeting. Why is sadness so persistent? It takes so much effort to make a day good. I’m tired. I can’t keep pushing every day. I fight to stay happy. These feelings well up inside. It’s all about effort. Will power. Struggling. Demons break into my heart. Sinister. Destroyers of light. Darkness grows. Envelopes me. It has, it will, trying to […]
does anyone have any experience w/ this type of therapy? Or, have you even heard of it?
I went to a new therapist today and this is what she suggested, but my family doctor had never even heard of it!
Today just keeps getting harder; not from without, just in my heart and mind.
Thanks to those who keep up the fight; and to those who can’t, I understand!
…an old country song by Don Williams
Lord, I hope this day is good,
I’m feeling empty and misunderstood.
I should be thankful Lord I know I should,
But, Lord, I hope this day is good.
@ 34 I may not belong here
feel the warmth
As it flows down my chest
The cuts in my neck throb
Now I fade
This is my dream
If not now
When
Mommy,
Why has he been in bed so long? Is he sleeping? What are those cuts on his arm from? When is he getting up? Why doesn’t he want to be out here with us? Why does he cry?
so I told a friend how I feel and she nearly cried. I’ve come to terms (somewhat) with the way I am. I don’t see a point where I will feel happy, for any length of time. I will just survive as long as I can muster up the will to go on. I hope there is no life after death; the thought of eternity scares me. I can’t even imagine any meaningful existence that lasts forever. Sometimes it seems overwhelming that there is a tomorrow, much less an everlasting existence. I hope for the big sleep, where I lay this body down and just […]
I have a sweet wife and four kids, but I’m still sad. I don’t want my kids to be the ones who’s dad killed himself. I’ve been thinking that every fathers day would be a bad day for them. So instead of ruining a second day for them I could do it then.