Why is everything always so fucked?! Why am I such a nice guy when everyone is a fuckin dick?! Why do I wear what little heart I somewhat have left on my sleeve for someone to just rip it out step on it stab it shoot it douse it with acid and set it on fire…. I quit…..
Not sure how to make since of anything.. Between hearing seeing and feeling things I’m unsure are real or not or the strange thoughts and being afraid of it all.. The other day it was pouring rain and the wind shield wipers were on high the water quickly beading and dripping down again all I could see was blood… I wished for it and hoped for it … I’m so tired of holding this feeling in.. Some ppl say it’s all a lie some just think I’m crazy but why? Why is that what I thought of ? Because of the long addiction I had/have […]
Not sure how much more depressing each passing birthday can get……
over it
A constant question I ask.. How did I get here? How did I get to this empty dark place? A few ppl have said that I am not to blame for my past. But what if I fought harder to prevent all this torture I have now? What if I could’ve prevented the nightmares and seeing his face feeling his hands and his breath. Smelling his disgusting sweat and hearing his disturbing voice? What if I am the one to blame? I feel as though he shouldn’t get away with all he did while I sit and remember every last thing.. Yet he has no […]
Hello?….. Is there anyone there?
Why is it that some of us who have scars get looked at like were freaks?! I’m not a freak!!!!!
Dear mind,
Dear mind, why do you present me with the same old questions I can never find an answer for ?…
Dear mind, why do you continuously spin and make me feel like this room of silence is a room full of sin?
Dear mind, why do you continue to play these scenes and make me hear all these foul things?
Dear mind, please let me escape just this one night, so maybe I can find some sort of fight??
And so it began.. The day you were born.. Reality is everyday we die a little, but for some they want to live an eternity, while most wish the hell they were given would end tomorrow…
Can’t sleep
Can’t sleep
Can’t sleep
Can’t sleep
So many Fucking thoughts about stupid fucking bull shit that I shouldn’t even give a fuck about but I do because that’s me and I’m a fucking idiot and I do whatever the fuck my mind tells me because I don’t know how to fucking tell it no… NO!!NO!!NO!!
Why does nothing ever fucking work out?!?! Why is everyone so fucked over in life?! Why do the ass holes and dick fucks get away with everything and the nice people get stuck with the shitty end of the fucking stick!!!! Omg!!!! Fucking shoot me I’m so tired […]
Could really use a quick chat.. Anyone? Find me on kik at darkestraven1218
Just one question for you all… Why is it that in sometimes I feel like I’m back in that exact moment when my life really changed? Why is it that I can hear and see everything like it’s right there infront of me? Why is it I can even see it in color vivid as can be? Why can I even smell that familiar sent?…. Whys it all seem so real? Real to the point where lately I’m questioning myself if it is or not.. Sigh
My selfish enemy
Still has the best of me
Empty and feeling numb
Wish I could take it away
I can’t control the need
To weak to not concede
Wish I was deaf and dumb
Wish I could fake it
**Seether**
We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.
** Orson Welles **
Yet again another sleepless night… Afraid to close my eyes but terrified to keep them open… Sigh… Will it ever end?….
How do you let out years and years of built up frustrations and anger in a way that isn’t “wrong”…
Why is it that every damn time I try to escape all the fuckin memories and flashbacks they come on harder?… Why is it that the more I try to feel the more numb I become?.. These are answers I will NEVER have.. So why does My mind want to constantly fuckin trap me in this twisted fuckin bull shit with no escape?.. None but the one that EVERYONE considers “wrong” .. I have so much anger!!!!!!!!!
Why is it that everytime I turn around someone’s telling me that I put myself in this place? I dug myself this hole and I’m keeping myself 10feet under.. If I could for one day feel “normal” (whatever society considers that) then I would be in a heart beat but I don’t ask to see think and feel the things I do. I don’t ask for the flashbacks or nightmares and I don’t ask for the emptiness.. But whatever maybe it’s something I deserve maybe and fuck being “normal”
I find this has more meaning than I’d like to think it does.
In the end were all just chalk lines on the concrete, drawn only to be washed away.
For the time that I’ve been given, I am what I am..
Never enough by five finger death punch
It’s funny how we all live in this huge world to be known by some but feel forgotten by everyone. I walk in the streets and they may see my smile but they’ll never know my stories.. They’ll never know the truth behind this face. All the lies of happiness and all the stories of fake laughter. When will be the day that people can see beyond the “joyful” eyes and see what’s really beneath it all <\3