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So Fucking Desperate

by dbrowmm
written by dbrowmm

At this point I am all alone in my own head. There’s not a single person in the world that knows how I truly feel, and I’m hurting. I have no clue what the source of these inner demons I’m struggling with is, and at this point I don’t think I’ll ever find it.

It has been six years since I started feeling depressed. I am 19 and my feelings started as a freshman in high school. At first I just thought they were normal teen angst. I felt lonely. I felt alienated from those around me. I felt so guilty about everything I did wrong, […]

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The Way I Feel

by dbrowmm
written by dbrowmm

I can see it in the dull yellow streetlights glaring off the sidewalk at night, and I can smell it in the exhaust fumes from passing cars

I can see it in my parents’ creased faces, and I can see it behind my friends’ glassy eyes

Despair

Desperation

Abandonment

Loss of hope.

I’ll run from it until I’ve taken another hit, until I’ve taken another shot, until I can’t be any more numb than I already am

But it’s always lurking right around the corner

Despair

Desperation

Abandonment

Loss of hope.

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No problems or solutions, Pain Redundancy Killing Myself

by dbrowmm
written by dbrowmm

All my problems have been fixed, I’m making friends I’m talking to people but I’m still a fucking basket case. There’s only a few weeks left until I decide whether or not I’m going through with this… Even when I’ve had my best days theres still loneliness and isolation lurking in the background, I’m tired of false fronts and pretenses and feeling like an outcast even when I’m not one. I’m tired of feeling so fucking angsty and so fucking shitty and being a ***** about things, I’m just really tired and only if I end it all can I rest

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Nothing can help…

by dbrowmm
written by dbrowmm

I thought I was just depressed because I wasn’t active enough, so recently I’ve been hanging out with old friends and I got a job and started working out but even though I’ve made all of these steps I still feel depressed and suicidal almost every day. I still want to end this pain that I can’t find the source of and still want to shoot my stupid face.

I fucking thought that I could be helped and that I could find the solace I’m looking for but, no matter how many people I can bond with, no matter how many girls I aimlessly flirt with, […]

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Going to off myself when I get the money to buy a gun

by dbrowmm
written by dbrowmm

Im an 18 year old male college student, and I’m home for the summer but have no friends and nobody to talk to, just myself and my thoughts… I can’t take it anymore. I almost failed out of college last semester because I slept through half my classes and stopped doing my work. There’s a lot of cool people I’ve met at college but I’ve slowly been distancing myself from them because of what I’m going to do. In 2 weeks I start work for a month and the tuesday after I finish work, I’m buying a gun and taking a bus somewhere way out […]

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