I thought I was just depressed because I wasn’t active enough, so recently I’ve been hanging out with old friends and I got a job and started working out but even though I’ve made all of these steps I still feel depressed and suicidal almost every day. I still want to end this pain that I can’t find the source of and still want to shoot my stupid face.
I fucking thought that I could be helped and that I could find the solace I’m looking for but, no matter how many people I can bond with, no matter how many girls I aimlessly flirt with, no matter how many friends I have, no matter how much money I have I will never have the attention or love of the person I want it from most: my dad.
My dad doesn’t love me, we can’t connect, and I probably sound like a huge ***** for saying this but I’ve always wanted him to love me more than anything. I just want someone I can connect with, at the heart of everything, but whenever I actually tell people what I’m thinking they think I’m a weirdo, a downer, a freak. My lack of anything to give my life meaning is a clear indication that I’ve reached the end of my rope and should end it all…
1 comment
I may not be the best person to give advice, well because I’m in this site too, but.. If they don’t want to listen you don’t want to connect with them. The more you fail connecting the sweeter it will be when it happens. As for your dad, I don’t know him or what kind of person he is, but I would sit down with him and say look dad.. And tell him everything. It might suck and it may not work. But since your in this site then your in the same shoes as the rest of us, you want to end a lot of things so before you seriously consider it. Or do it. You have to try everything you can do. Good luck. Keep us, well me I guess, posted. I hope I helped