I’m home finally they all love me so much but the bad news is i still feel like my former darkness is still shadowing me I’m going to hold on aa long as i can then when my last ounce of strength is gone ill end it anyway i binge watched tokyo ghoul (anime) and fucking loved it anyway to explain something we have a LOT of artists and talented people here on sp and only you guys know what it’s truly like so with that being said if anyone wants to send me a picture they’ve drawn if i like it I’ll get it […]
Well things are about to change i just have to wait until Tuesday I’d be lying if i said i wasnt scared turning your back on your family is never easy even if they’re abunch of abusive assholes hopefully someome has some words of wisdom or just something comforting because this is ripping me apart on one hand they’re my family on the other they’re bad for me and very toxic i wish this was easier but it isn’t i need to learn to not be so sensative about putting myself first i need this and they can’t understand that so be it
I want to forget this house and these people i want to forget the life im leading i know if i continue on this path it’ll lead me straight to the darkness within myself that im so afraid of i move in just a few short weeks i haven’t continued with packing or clearing my room despite my needing to I’m honestly afraid this won’t change anything i need something I’m being torn apart by the two people who tried to raise me my father who beat me and tried so hard to forge me into someone with no feelings no emotions no regret he […]
Family member yells get the fuck outta your room and help with dishes so i cover my cuts like I’ve been told to do and go out i start washing dishes then realize i have to roll up my sleeves my mom glares at me and whispers you better not be doing that for attention i said please step out of the kitchen so i can have room to move freely and do the dishes she walks out one of our guests comes over and stares at my arm then when i ask what’s wrong she just replied so you’re older now and i noticed […]
Yet another Christmas my family just wants me to stay in my room which normally i don’t mind but seeing everyone so happy with their family or significant other kills me i wonder why can’t i have that why was i born into such a cruel family why so many questions but the good part is this year i have money and its like 70 here for the first time so i can drive the work truck around (it doesn’t have heat so usually I wouldn’t drive it in the winter) I’ll probably just leave to go to the park or something maybe i don’t […]
My dear nephew you’re so young you won’t even begin to understand this decision so it might not even effect you the holidays are coming and shall i perish now or in the future you’re mother will be given a paper copy of this note and she’ll give it to you when you’re old enough so here i go as you may or may not know already i could never manage to have children of my own and never really found happiness but everytime you huged me it brightened my world and i want you to know if anything ever happened to your mom or […]
Sighs recently i guess I’ve been doing anything to feel honestly now I’m just a piece of meat when i look in the mirror, first i did nothing but cut then i got to the point where i don’t feel it anymore it feels good sometimes, sex made me feel good so i had as much as i could get but now i just feel dirty and used (yeah guys can feel that way) and now i don’t know what to do ive cut as much as i could fit without it being too obvious now I’m just tired all the time recently I’ve wanted […]