i am a pathetic person , i won’t bore you with the details, the important thing is that i am. its who i am and i can’t change it. i can maybe repress it but i can’t change it.
i hate myself because i am who i am, which makes me hate life maybe even more. i am at my wits end, i am in therapy and whenever they think my problems are getting better or aren’t the worst they could be i get really upset. what i want most in the whole world is go through something so terrible, like being abused for years […]
lately all i can do is laugh, its all so fucking funny,
its funny how i am such a pathetic person that has pity on himself while nothing bad enough has happened to me, its also funny how everything hurts, its funny that i am writing this and i am only now realising how terrible i am feeling, its funny how i can’t stop hating myself for a second. its funny how i never have any rest, its funny how i keep telling myself i don’t care , its funny how i love pain, how i love being treated like shit by my father, i […]
seriously i don’t want to go on any more. i just don’t know how to do it. pills seem like not really a method with a high succeed rate. i don’t have ways to get a gun or anything like that. i thought about jumping from a building, but i could never do that head first. hanging is a no go because suffocating is a trauma of mine, i am sure i couldn’t go through with it. then i thought about jumping before i train, but i feel its a really egoistic act because of the trauma you will cause the driver, also thought about […]
i feel like shit, it feels like i am only myself when i am like this: suicidal, depressed, angry , and what more. Its like i am half awake when i am ”acting” happy in front of others. i can’t really explain it, lately i have been thinking about something to cause me a lot of pain. i need hurt to feel alive, but i find myself doing nothing but praying for pain. i am weird , i really am, there is something wrong with me. i ”bully” myself a lot less when i am already in pain, and i also mean terrible situations. […]
i feel so fucking angry!
i have been asking God to please kill me , multiple times a day now.
all i feel like now is hurting myself, but i have nothing good to do it with.
stupid piece of glas had no sharp edge at all.
all people treat it like its some stupid joke,
like wanting to hurt yourself and wanting to die is some sort of stupid joke
and all those assholes who tell me i am a loser, and its all my own fault, and i need to change something
at this time i just feel like dying. i really want […]
i do not feel te need to live anymore, at the moment i have no place to go. i can stay where i am now februari and i don’t have a place to go. the only thing would be going home (im 16) but i do not want to. why the hell do people life? the whole life is shit! maybe if you would have someone to live for , but i do not. so why i can’t i just get run over by a car or something? it feels like i am living a dream, like this is all not real. i am really […]
this is my first post , i do not know if i am doing this the right way. i was kind of looking for a prosuicide site and found out that there aren’t any! or that i could not find it. i find myself begging to god to please kill me, i know that i am not going to kill myself soon. i do not know why. i just see the future as a huge load of misery and i really don’t want to go on. i am sixteen and nowone around me understands or cares. my friends don’t take it seriously and just think […]