Was going through my email and found an old email from this website. Holy hell it’s been years. Things got better and things got worse. The sad thing is the feeling of wanting to kill myself never left. But I have decided to live for those around me. Those who enjoy seeing me and my time. But i know when I get home I always make my peace with leaving them. I always know they’ll be okay when I’m gone. I’m not that important to anyone. I stopped being important long ago. I used to be sad my ex girlfriend left me and cheated on […]
I don’t think you realize how many ways you have to kill yourself until your motivated I mean you can literally use anything at anytime and just end it. It’s peaceful knowing you’re never far from death.
I dont know how much longer I can handle this horrible break up. I put my life into it and I agree it looks stupid to off it cause of a relationship. But when I was 13 I decided to live till 18 and end it but she stopped me and then months continued and I saw hope. I saw a future with her. I was willing to […]
“I’ll be home soon”
“he’s nothing to worry about”
“he’s like a brother to me”
“you’re worried about nothing”
“see you soon”
“I’m coming give me half an hour”
“almost there”
“I love you”
“I slept with him”
nine months till I reach my birthday. The one day where I decide to live or not. Plan was 18 but my girlfriend stopped me. But she doesn’t want to be together now. So whose gonna stop me now. I dont know what I wanna do with my life. I wanted to do great things to make her and her family happy but other than that i dont know what I want. I dont know what I want to do for me. I always put her before me. But I guess I haven’t been the best boyfriend there is. I just don’t know.
let’s say I started dating her around 7th grade. Little kids didn’t know much. She was my first.but I was her second choice after the boy she liked before me didn’t work. Didn’t know what love was but she was close to it. First kiss. Things didn’t work saw her fuck around with other guys and didn’t think much of it. Then fast track to 9th grade. We got back together after awhile of talking. Things went good for awhile but let’s just say I couldn’t believe anything that came out her mouth the lies she told me were unbelievable and she doesn’t even remember […]