hallowy

I had everything to go through with offing myself… but decisiveness. Now I am at the same position. I could still do it, fly to that cliff and jump. God, why do I doubt so hard… I feel too good.. afraid to let go of this little joy I feel even though I feel no power in myself to do what’s necessary to actually live my life… to climb out where I have let myself fall again.

I feel like I need someone beside me to go through with it, but it’s not fair to others.

where did I take my decisiveness to lie on […]

Yesterday was my 1 year anniversary of laing on traintracks and surviving. Yay. Or whatever.

Does anybody know anything about him? He’s been gone for so long 🙁

slightly depressed

over rested

under rested

needs to be tested

existential angst

twsited ankle

hurting knee

scoliosis

where to pee

..haha

i am young

though

as if

i

have lived already too long

damaged body

damaged emotions

wrinkles on the forehead

overweight

tired of … nameless things

crooked smile

on top

of it

but i am 21

and that’s it

i feel slightly perplexed

so complex

or am i simple

the vastness

crammed into little

i feel overwhelmed

stop it

i might fall

i am marked by life

but still untouched