Do you ever have those days when you feel insane? Like, mood swings, where you jump from “I should go to the hospital so I don’t kill myself” to “I am on top of the world!”? It’s not bipolar because he mood swings are way to sudden, but it’s something. I woke up this morning convinced that I was either going to hit up a friend for 20 vicodin or finally go to the hospital and bite that bullet (in a lot of ways, I think that the hospital would be worse than suicide because I would still be alive to have to face all […]
hatemeplease
I want to tell you how shattered I am.
I want to make you see
the pain engulfing me
but it’s not right.
I know you won’t turn me away
if I call to say what I need to say
but we can’t continue this way.
We are not a healthy match
I hold on to you, and once I latch
on I don’t know how to let go
or go back to how we were before
Nothing in me allows me to open up
to show you how shattered I am
but it’s ok, because you shouldn’t be burdened
with my unanswerable questions.
So I’m cutting myself
off […]
i have struggled with serious depression since I was about 14. I am now 22, and in the 8 years that this has been an issue for me, i have had probably a year and a half total time when I wasn’t honestly thinking about killing myself. I have had the suicide note written and the method laid out before so many times that I have lost count. but I always cop out right at the end. i have never officially attempted suicide, but I cut and I drink and i smoke and I do anything else that might, maybe, take a little bit of […]