Hedabuvh20

“None of us deserving of the cruelty or the grace.”

This line from the song “Come Healing,” is probably my favorite collection of words that I have ever heard.  From the album Old Ideas by Leonard Cohen.  If you’re not familiar with Leonard Cohen, he is the gentleman who penned the song “Hallelujah.”  I know that song is far played out, but I’m pretty sure this man has been where we have.

Kurt Cobain referenced him in regards to his own suicide.

I had a dream that I met him.  The dream was so intense that I tried to open my eyes to make sure it wasn’t a […]

Just rambling helps. Listening to an interview with Levon Helm, reminds me of the song Tears of Rage by The Band, whose keyboardist committed suicide. And then I think too of Vince Welnick of the Grateful Dead, who took his life too and Hunter S. Thompson and Kurt Cobain, and so many others, including the Ray Coombs who hosted Family Feud and also Don Corneilius who I imagine if you had told him at the height of his career that he would have ended his life, I don’t think he’d believe you.

I often think that if I could create some sort of great […]

Was in a lot of pain, anguish today.  I really only feel like anger is the only way for me to feel any sense of normalcy and it’s getting me nowhere.  Somehow I”m still able to maintain a job, but my relationship with my supervisors is bad.

I was however able to nap.  Usually, I’m too uncomfortable to do so.  My body just doesn’t feel right.  Having enough sanity to know that I’m not well does not count for me enough sometimes.  I suppose it does represent a type or shred of sanity, but what about actually feeling good?  It’s true, not everyone gets to feel […]

I found this website when I put in the google search “praying for death.” I read the post that it linked to and the guy was talking about “praying for death,” as a compromise between killing himself and continuing to suffer so that others wouldn’t have to deal with the pain of his death. I feel that way a lot. So few people I think really know how to respond to somebody who is really suffering, they don’t want to acknowledge it, as if by doing so it makes it real. It’s real whether it’s acknowledged or not! I have a good friend named Sue […]