EVERYTHING WILL SOON BE O.K, AT LEAST I THINK SO I MEANÂ YOU KNOW SOMETIMES IT’LL GET WORSE AND WORSE BUT MY FELLOWS STRUGGLING WITH LIFE LIKE ME, IT GETS BETTER SOME DAYS, WHETHER IT’S A NEW BAND YOU’RE FOND OF OR YOUR MUM OR DAD BOUGHT YOU SOMETHING TO EAT THAT YOU LOVE JUST TO SHOW THEY CARE OR WHETHER YOUR SIBLINGS PLAY FIGHT WITH YOU BUT GET YOU SO MAD YOU LAUGH, JUST REMEMBER IT’S THOSE SMALL THINGS THAT SHOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY, NOT WHETHER YOU GET A SHIT TON OF LIKES ON FACEBOOK OR WHATEVER, IT’S YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY.
i.am.not.for.this.world
MY mind is so hauntingly terrible at night, nightmares of death and chaos, I’m too afraid to sleep because my mind attacks me and I wake up every night brought almost to tears by the death I see every night, mostly my own of course but sometimes of others of whom I don’t know. I would rather die the deaths in my nightmares than see them anymore, they’re already killing me.
She cries for help under the dying sun, her eyes wide in fear, her lips start trembling as tears fall from her face and disappear from sight. Lost in the middle of a place only she could find, searching for something, something she hopes to find in the place she had it last. In the heart of the lands she wonders for days, her eyes no longer leak their tears, lips no longer tremble nor mutter a word for help. She’s lost and alone in a place far from home, she’s lost and alone in a place no one knows, looking for something that is […]
This isn’t how it’s supposed to be, it didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to. What can I do except rot here on the floor while everyone’s lives continue till their end. I AM NOT MEANT TO BE. there must have been a mistake the wrong soul entered this body at the wrong time, my soul wasn’t meant to live now, and so it shall die within me before I am 17.
There is something about her. The way she moves, it’s like she is walking on water. Nothing stands in her way, everything parts for her like the red sea but what others do not know, her wrist parts at night and the sink of her bathroom becomes the red sea. She is not broken but she is beaten, she will overcome this path in life and she will conquer the stars themselves and will shine brighter than the sun. She is the light I awake to every morning, I cannot wait for that day when she is mine.
She seems harmless enough, has the same problems as me, suicidal the same kind of tastes and personality but she is fragile and vulnerable to a point that exceeds my own, so i wonder……would it be such a terrible thing to be with her, would we crumble and end up destroying ourselves because we couldn’t handle each others sadness and attempts, would this relationship be a bad thing?
would we be harmless or harmful together, i do not yet know, i feel as though when meds come i will get better and she may too and then we could conquer this hard part of life together […]
i am quiet, this is no new thing but when i am quiet, i think of hurtful things.
mother says she loves me but how should i know it be true? father claims it too but i don’t know how to believe it’s all true.
i am forever alone in this dark head of mine, left to rot and watch this decaying world as everyone pretends it’s all ok.
i hurt myself to protect all of whom i love, if i did not i would hurt them, feel their bones break under foot, watch blood drip from their finger tips and spill onto me, with the glorious shades […]
she is perfect, she will take the compliment and thank you, yet she never really agrees, she is beautiful no matter how ‘shit’ she may think she looks.
That’s what i could have written about her when i loved her, she broke my heart, i felt like breaking her bones, the hatred within me is growing with every word she says to me but it’s not just hatred for her, it’s hatred for all, they’re putting me on meds for my homicidal and suicidal thoughts, i don’t need them meds i am perfectly fine being this way without them. fuck you all, good day.
She is alone, nothing but alone in the dark folds of her mind. They consume her soul and dance in the wreckage of her heart, talking to her at night, convincing her to cut again until the blade slowly edges to her wrist, nick it a little, only a little don’t want to start a riot in your family and get slapped by the ones you thought loved you.
Disappear into your dreams my sweet little girl, watch the dream like a movie as you slit your wrists and watch the blood flow and plunge to the floor, smile and wave in the mirror as though […]
Why does everybody tell me they’re sorry, sorry for what!? I’m pretty sure it’s not your fault I’m fucked in the head beyond repair. I feel like i have to scream at them “don’t tell me you’re sorry, cause i know, o i know, you’re not” it’s bullshit people should just fuck off i don’t even know what people are saying to me anymore, ugh everything’ll be fine when the meds come i’ll finally be able to od 🙂
i can only just remember what happiness used to feel like, the warmth, the glorious warmth, it was what it was, but now it’s all a dream i can only slip into during nights of almost sleep, i wouldn’t even miss me if/when i die, so why the hell would anyone else eh?
feelings are so stupid they go up, down, turn around, left, right, o hey a dollar, it’s so ridiculous, we all are, wish we were like that neutral planet from futurama, no feelings at all, just neutral the whole time, yea i’d like that.
these feelings, these horrible feelings, they haunt me, taunt me, scream do it, its ok, take more, take em all, let go, it’ll be ok, everything gets better when you’re gone. i loved her she was mine, only mine i thought she loved me but apparent not on the night she tried to take her own, i love her still do, the place they took her changed her, she left me for another and they look happy in love almost and it crushes me everyday, i hate this, i hate it all,these feelings are ridiculous, why must they be i want them gone, as well […]
i do not belong, in this world full of love, it’s easy to think things could all get better. trapped in the soul of the devil, consumed by his love for death it turns to be mine. the blade hungers for my skin, i hunger for the feel, it bites me deep and i smile with enjoyment. i can no longer cut as mother searches my body for new wounds of hate, the ashamed look in her eyes, WHY, WHY DO YOU CARE, you never cared for i, till you saw i wanted to die, none did. so instead i turn to pills lots of […]