Some guy in my building past away in his sleep. He had a family who most likely loved him, children,a wife nd yet he passes away in his sleep I know im being an complete dick when I say this but here I am beggin for death , prayin. For it, plannin for it , nd yet it looks right paas me nd finds someone who coulda made a difference in life. Like where is this place that I exist in why do things function like that….
This place has been home for me when my own home turned into a prison. I cant live like this any longer…the only place I feel safe is on suicide project for fuck sake. I dont wanna post anymore, talk anymore, remember anymore, I dont want to live as me anymore, im gonna blow my head off that is the most fastest, easiest way. No more playin wit this. I jus wanna go. Lets see whats at the end of the light tunnel.
Suicide… what do I even say right now…? I wish it was easy. I imagine me commiting the act, wheneva I try to go through with it, I think to myself, what did I do so bad that I have to kill myself…? I just want to peacefully let life go… but theres no easy way to do it…im sorry I really uavent shared my story but jus take it from me, it doesn’t matter. I jus wanna give up this life. Sleep and never wake here ever again…
Im still pro suicide, always will be. Whos with me?
This place is hell. Thats where we are. Tonight I want to leave this place. Im goin to stay calm nd remember dying nd goin where ever it is we go next cant be worse then being who I am here.
Yu had strong points in your last post. I believe the truth is none of us want to die, we all want a chance to live pain free like it appears other ppl live. I think that might be the worst part, is that we all know there is a “better side” to this cuz we see all around us but life is hard nd painful no matter what we may want and I think if we lived in a world where suicide was allowed then ppl could be evaluated to see if their life was worth it to them or somethin along thos lines
My rant today is about a girl I care about very much. She left me sometime ago nd I try not to contact her but when she hits me I am compeled to answer but this girl leaves our convos hangin nd ingeneral jus leaves me hangin. Now I know ppl like that yu gotta cut out of ur life becuz shes treatinme like im nothin nd I can be put on hold weneva nd picked up wheneva but even tho I know I have to stop this like I said I am compeled . For me its like how do I ignore someone who I was mad close too nd someone I think about all the time. I hate myself becuz I am sick in the head becuz of this, I jus cant cut her off nd it makes me wanna die cuz I cant live like this for much longer , im jus askin for tips on how could I cope if yu guys dont mind…
How good would it feel to not wake up tomorrow , to let go of all the regret, all the pain we live everyday a life we dont want, how much more cruel can life be….
Its funny I use to look at life like the only way to live it is happily is to spend it with ppl yu trust but ppl change. Nd unfortunately sometimes it for no reason. I personally hate to say “for no reason” theres always a reason but wat reason is good enough to change up on someone yu were close to for countless years ? I cant explain everything but for the ppl readin this sayin “cmon buddy, ppl change nd sometimes yu could do something wrong nd not notice” thats crap this whole rant I feel like is pointless becuz its a perception of jus my own nd it wont change anythin but I guess wat im sayin is sometimes fuck ppl
The past week has been a lil challenging, I jus keep thinking to myself, if I were to commit to some kind of suicide plan like many of yu post, if I keep in my mind there is a easy way out, its makes waking up do able, but when do I decide to go through with it , the easy way out? Is it courage I need or do I need somethin else? Absolute dispair maybe? I can only imagine how much of a relief it would to not wake up nd to quit the experience of life
Im calling out to the ppl of SP we are always here in pain, some of us dont post , rather jus read jus so they remember they’re not alone. Some of us are able to move on , some come back even worse. I guess wat im gettin at is when does this place turn into somethin meaningful, how do we move forward from today , I say even if life sucks to the point that feeling yu once knew that filled ur body to believe is gone, I want to bring somethin that we can all share not jus pain but somethin that could someday amount to something, I am goin to get equipment to observe space and I will share my work here I realize there are so many ppl that come here with nothin in there hearts nd nothin in our lives but imagine all the data we could build wit so many ppl over the globe wit nothin left to believe in but together we can discover truth … ya know
Does anyone on sp know who neil degrass tyson is? He is a brilliant scientist, he has been an inspiration to me nd I recommend him to anyone on sp seeking knowledge.
I work at night clubs, nd my days are slow nd lonely nd I have an ex in my life that makes that nights I work even harder. She left me sometime ago nd ive been trynna move on but its hard nd my out look on life is darker becuz of it. She hits me up every now nd again becuz she gets bored but talkin to her distracts me, it reminds me of wat I lost but she jus keeps goin not lettin me forget always remindin me… so im on my last knee prayin verbally , textin my pray out on sp , Idk if god is real but im beggin for jus somethin good plz jus give me somethin… or I give up…
Where the secret cult that welcomes suicide? Like is it jus bs ? Its doesnt really exist?
I think I wanna end it soon, its funny wen eva I see post like this I say to myself , why say it but dont commit to it. Im not the type to say something and not mean it. Ive done alot of thinkin on how to get past this.I know that I cant. I know ill always live with this so I think its best that I show myself mercy. I cant stand another day of ” ok I can fight this,” I just want that moment when I take my last breathe.I think now wat will be harder that last moment or more day waking up…
The peace that comes with death is all I want now , all I ever think about. No more waking up to work a job you hate , no more memories that torture every thought that runs through my head, no more having to hope things will get better. true peace. Do I need a doctor to talk to or drugs to take because all I want is peace ? Is it wrong to want to leave this world to the ones whom it belongs to…? I honestly don’t think so…
at first I came acorss this site looking for someone who would help to die , to be honest. What I learned from sp was no one here or anywhere for that matter is going to do that for yu. The choice is always gonna be yours, its up to yu to decide to look at things differently and learn to coop and accpet or yu can decide to end this ride and get off but only yu can make that choice
No such thing as god, only the many combinations of eons of evolution. No reason to pray that things will get better or to pray to die , who are yu prayin to anyway. Life means struggle to no end , death means peace, no hell or heaven, no reincarnation, just the end for the soul, the accumulation of electrons we call conscience
It just doesnt get better
The end.
I look out my window nd I cant feel nothin not even the sadness right now… what about you sp? Look out your window, comment what ur lookin at nd how does it make yu feel? Wat type of night is it for yu guys? For me the wind is blowin, the sky jus pulls you in here the perfect night for lettin go , in any sense yu wanna use it in
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