the sound of hope dying
isn’t a violent cry
it is sand between your fingers
Here I am.
Again, and again.
I don’t want to be on fire anymore.
People say it gets better.
They’re wrong.
It’s a strange feeling, to lay next to someone
someone who is wonderfully good to you
and instead of happiness
the thoughts that race through your head
are how much you miss someone else
and how you wish you’d rather die
because you won’t feel the warmth of being next to that someone else
again
In the dark of the night
hearing his breath in my ear
I tell myself to let the quiet hours wash away
to let slumber kill the loneliness
so that I may live another day
If it weren’t for you Kira, I’d never have heard this song.
Listening to this song and thinking of you makes me smile.
I remember we were coming up with our own lyrics, to sing along.
And this is what you wrote for me.
Kira 16:59
Sometimes she imagines
that she would like to be
a person I call jj
who is kind and dear to me
My dear, sweet Kira. I can’t believe you’ve gone. It’s still not settled in.
Sometimes I imagine
that I would like to be
a person next to Kira
holding hands, just quietly.
I tip my hat to you, love.
See you […]
It’s stupid. And naive. I know.
But I still want to believe that love and compassion will always win at the end.
So I will.
Travs: jj, I will share with you this. The meaning to life. The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything. And once you know this, you will be able to tell everyone from now on that you do indeed know the meaning of life, and still choose the alternate.
Travs: And the answer is: 42.
Jeb: thats pretty deep Travs
Travs: I hope this helps.
Travs: I know, isn’t it?
Travs: Now always remember where your towel is, and watch out for stray Vogons.
Jeb: i thought the meaning the meaning to life was u2
Travs: Nope, Jeb. My geek cred […]
Long story short, I was walking down the street at night with my ex. He’s said he’s ok with me killing myself after months of trying to persuade me otherwise. I was like, “Hey, there’s a tree. I should go hang myself.” He was like, “ok.”
My ass was too heavy so he had to help push me up this small tree. I took my hoodie off, tied one end around my neck and tied the other end to the tree branch. I’m 5 ft 4 and a half. I think where my feet were, was about level with his head. He’s 5 ft 10ish. I […]
Rest in peace, Mike.
For those of you who knew Mike7/Mike777. It’s been two days since he logged off, bidding us farewell.
He used the ******** hood method. I think he has left us.
We love you Mike. Be at peace.
We still love ya, all the same.
Just because we get frustrated with arguments doesn’t change anything.
I had to go lay down.
Hope you feel better, love.
Why don’t you just become friends with each other?
I don’t understand.
You’re saying no one cares but you guys keep posting about how lonely each of you are without even responding to each other most of the time.
If you’re so lonely, go read other peoples’ posts who say they’re lonely and say hi.
Talk. But more importantly, listen. Make friends.
I am the world to my parents. Everything they do, they claim to do it for me. Maybe it’s an Asian thing. Maybe it’s just a devoted parents thing. I don’t know. I’ve been wanting them to come to terms with the fact that I want to kill myself since I first decided to tell them in April. I hoped that with enough communication, they would understand the amount of suffering I’ve been enduring. Of course, no, they think I need a change of scenery, a change in lifestyle, pretty much a change in everything. Think that that would solve my problems. No. They even […]
It hurts so fucking badly, and I can’t stop crying.
I want to die.
It hurts so fucking bad.
Do you remember, when I told you how scared I was?
And you told me you would protect me.
Casey, do you know why I was so afraid, now.
Do you remember all those times you told me I was a strong person.
I told you, remember?
I told you, I’m not.
I’m sorry I’m not a stronger person.
I’m sorry
Somebody needs to make a separate site for people who are depressed, can’t socially adapt or have issues with self-harm and negative self image. All these cries for attention are going to kill me before I kill myself.
So I just woke up after a good 18 hours of sleep, so I’m going to post what’s on my mind while I have the energy. Throw rocks at me if you will.
So many people here don’t genuinely seem to be suicidal. Yes, I am aware that also many of you are. But a lot of people are just here to cry for attention or are depressed because a lack of attention from others. Crying for attention among other people who are here because they want attention, or because they are suicidal (and a lot of people who are suicidal are self-absorbed or caught […]
I emailed a few people who posted on my ******** post a while back, and when I looked them up, have never returned to SP.
One guy emailed back, asking, “Who is this?”
But I had to smile at this email, which I just got a response to.
I doubt he has any idea who I am.
Subject: (no subject)
Hello, are you still here?
———————————————————————————————
Hey I am still here
Sent from my iPhone
On Nov 5, 2012, at 4:12 PM
I am afraid of dying. After witnessing a year of my depression, helping me numerous times – supporting me emotionally and financially – my friend had offered to stay on the phone with me while I used the exit bag. Now with things closing in, and me not getting any better, he has brought up the idea of staying with me while I kill myself. He says he can handle it. And he suggested a motel as to where to do it. I had thought about this myself. Neither of us know if it’s possible for the motel to sue him or my family for […]
end of post.
Yesterday, someone told me that making goals in life was important. I asked him why. He more or less told me that man is meant for progress. I sat and questioned in my head, what is this progress that society in general seems to always pursue.
I do believe that humankind has made leaps in advancement of technology, medicine, and overall the knowledge of the world around us. Do I believe that we as a species have become any more enlightened in spiritual depth? In learning tolerance and understanding among each other, in compassion, in communication (not the methods of communication)? No.
With each era I […]
So, here I am, 5:30 in the morning. Still haven’t slept since waking up at 7 pm. I go outside for a cigarette. I finish smoking it. I’m on the phone with my friend, in the meanwhile. I’m about to go inside and some random guy walking by at 5:30 in the morning asks to use my phone. I go, okay. I tell my friend I’ll call him back, and let him use the phone. Then when he’s done, he wants me to wait for his friend calls back. I say, not too long, but okay. He offers me weed he has on him. He […]
I was just thinking. Why do people guilt trip over cutting themselves?
Who the fuck cares what other people think? (Well, maybe that’s more of my perspective.) It’s non-lethal, it hurts less than getting a tattoo, you just don’t get a pretty picture at the end. I mean, for pain itself, there would be constructive and productive things to do like yoga, or running till your legs give out, that hurt a lot more than some scrapes. The intensity of pain you feel from pushing your bodily limits are usually a lot worse than the actual act of cutting. If you consistently need stitches and […]
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