I hate living here. When my aunt’s family comes over to stay for a few days I swear she becomes so fake. She only talks to me when she wants me to do something or when I say something they stop to listen and then carry on with their conversations like I don’t even exist. I fucking hate that. She is so fucking fake when people come over. I can’t deal. It makes me feel like shit. Well, it’s not like she cares. Either way no one does. What’s the point of giving a crap about people when they don’t give a shit about you. […]
I don’t know. I have a lot of problems with myself. When it comes to self-esteem I suck. Oh you see a pretty outfit? Oh wait you’re too fat for it. Oh that guy’s cute? Oh, he picked the prettiest girl.
When I was younger I didn’t care what people said about me because I was happy being myself. About a yer ago all that changed. I saw how people dressed and I thought that I should start dressing like that. You know, just to look pretty and fit in. I started changing my style. Getting ‘better clothes’, ‘better shoes’. I wanted to be accepted. Then […]
Well, I guess it’s time for my story. I have made some posts but I guess it’s time to say the real deal.
Ever since I was a kid my mom would spend most of the time at a hospital. I usually stayed with her best friend or someone that took care of me since I was a baby. Such a nice old lady. She was like the grandma I never had. So yeah, I went to a private Christian school and had a few close friends. Well there were times when the security guard would go looking for me telling me my mom was outside […]
People come to me when they need someone to listen to them. Honestly, I don’t mind because at least in those situations I exist.
They come to me for relationship advice even tho I’ve never really had a boyfriend.
They come to me when their family is having problems.
They pretty much come to me for anything and I like the fact that people trust me. I like to be useful. I like to be that one person who won’t judge you for your choices.
I have to say, if any of you guys ever need someone to talk to just know you can come to me. I will […]
I want so many things in life. I want to be the one that makes a difference. I want to be the person that will be there for you no matter what. I want to be someone useful. I want to be liked and accepted. I mean, who doesn’t? I want to fit in. I want to be happy.
I want a normal life with a normal family. I wish I had someone I could call mom. Have someone to call dad. I never had a dad growing up so it makes me want one even more. I see girls with their dads and those are […]
It’s hard to wake up every day and pretend that everything is okay when it clearly isn’t. It’s hard to say you’re fine when you aren’t. It’s hard to always be the strong one. The one that everyone comes to.
A lot of people rely on me and all I can do is try my best to help them.
Of course, I wanna be that person that will always be there for you because I know what it’s like to have no one to turn to. To feel alone in this shitty ass world.
Honestly, I tell everyone that suicide is not the answer but when it comes […]
I don’t know anymore. I’m not the person I used to be. I’m someone completely different. Now I just wanna be alone. I get panic attacks. I have really bad social anxiety. It is true what they say, you don’t know what you have until its gone. When I was 9 my mom died and everything just changed. I didn’t even go to her funeral. Slowly this emptiness started growing inside of me. I became kinda lonely and just really sad. There are times when I can’t handle it anymore and just get so sad that I just start thinking about suicide. Honestly, I believe […]
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