No, I’m not okay
If you think I am,
Then I beat you at the game –
Because you know I’m not..
So which one of us is better at pretending?
Why does my life feel like a prison sentence?
I have done things that I am not proud of – but did I murder anyone? No, did I steal? No… I didn’t do any of the things that would get you 10 to life… yet that’s exactly what I have – A life sentence to be served daily.. no escape, horrible loneliness, no friends, just existing day after day in this damnable prison of my own mind – such betrayal – my own brain cast me in this cell.
I am broken
And there is nobody
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI-o25K6B-E
Why do people say that? Time heals all wounds… classic quote that means shit. Dad, you died 2 years ago, and today is ‘your’ day .. I can’t celebrate it anymore, and I miss you so much. But 2 years.. no relief. That knife that twists in my stomach when I think about how much I wish we could trade places – it still hurts with the same intensity as the day you passed. I can’t stop hurting inside, I can’t stop wishing it was me instead of you – I don’t understand WHY God took you .. you are a thousand times more important, […]
I’ve never felt like I fit in – lost in a crowded room..
At school I was painfully shy – I wear a mask so no one knows the real me.
But the strangest feeling I’ve had since I can remember is that I feel like I just don’t belong here. Like maybe I was born in the wrong century or country.. I can’t explain it any better than that, but I feel so lost and like I don’t want to be here anymore – Its like I remember something, or someone and I miss them and desperately want to be with them again – […]
You know you’re fucked when the razor you’re trying to use is too fucking dull to cut fml
“I close my eyes only for a moment, and the moment’s gone
All my dreams pass before my eyes, a curiosity
Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind
Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see
Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind
Now, don’t hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away, and all your money won’t another minute buy
Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind
Dust in the wind, everything is […]
I had the most beautiful dream – in it, I sat somewhere.. under a tree or on a bench – I’m not sure
A man sat next to me – I don’t think I knew him, or maybe I did – he slowly leaned over and kissed me ever so gently on the lips. The feeling that came over me was absolute love… there were no expectations, no sexual innuendos, nothing but pure, unconditional love. When I awoke – that kiss fresh on my lips – and found that it was a dream, my heart shattered into a thousand pieces. It was only a dream […]
I’m 49 – diagnosed and began treatment for depression and anxiety in my early 20s
I have 4 kids – none of my relationships worked so I am alone.
I have been on every medication there is to treat depression – nothing works very well
I don’t want to wake up anymore, been fighting this for so fucking long – my parents practically raised my kids for me – I was just not able to for the most part. I’ve failed everyone, including my Father, who died 2 years ago from cancer. I love my kids – and they’ve forgiven me, well 3 have. The 4th is estranged because […]
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