Change of plans I am going to lake tahoe much eairler than expected I leave at 9:00 am florida time. S o I’ll see how things go . besides that any body wanna talk?
I feel so much sadness I dont now if Im just feel bad for myslef and cowardice about my life that what my sister told me Or if just crazy liky what my mother law says I feel so worthless and useless.
Im so lost so broken Im trying with every fiber in my body to keep it together. but when I get myself in room alone I can’t function. I want to die soooo bad , I want it l to end . my husband seen me in ball of mess in the closet. He said “don”t worried I’ll take to get makeup later , so stop crying ” I said I dont care About the make up it sucks but whatever . I want to die i thought. Then he asked wich killed me to hear but felt numb inside. Are you unhappy with […]
Keep me company
just told my huband I want to die he ask why twll me so i can help . i told im worthless he said why you worthless I said because Im am . lol he thinks he can stop it im pray for fod to kill me I want to die .
My patato salad at its best lol
Im done I cant take it no more or just might slit my wrist tonight i will die i cant live in this life no more i cant i wanna die so im going to take my life and if go to hell im a theif and horrible person I take advantage of the stupid and bleed them dryvim go there anyway so I just go quicker
There gonna make me call my in-laws for Easter I wanna cut my tounge out . then im forced to go to party with alot of people who hate me . why am I going because there grandparents and my grandparents-inlaws are besties. Yay I hope I catch a stomach virus before three o-clock. I wish I would of died in my sleep
I wanna die I wanna bust my head open I can not take this people today self righteous there better then any body on this mother fucking earth .and there th good grandparents meet with others later and all I get I called […]
The only thind that make lookk forward to lake tahoe is there nothing tieing my in-laws there they “Say there leaveing it in August” so whats keeping me from taking my life there? …. Nothing .
Theysay money is coming easy there so If I make enough. I gooe the resorts have a comfey bed and food feathered down blanket there. so I can take something to sleep and not wake up .
Or a nice bath to take box cutter to my arm and drift away I like water. My family will give up onme the second I get the plane so there no worrie about […]
Im hungry i want. Dounut and im bored somebody talk to me
72 pounds of patato salad and egg salad finally done Now I clean. Im sooo tried.
My nerves my sadness is getting to me today feel like I can’t breathe and this old lady is getting very last on top of that I have to peel pounds of potatoes in and make 60 pounds of potato salad. And do it all with a smile joke and pretend I don’t feel like shit.
Tired of lying to everybody I’m tired of not talking to my family because I’m not telling them leaving Tahoe they’re going to have a heart attack. I just want to go home.
Im better now and I have hour drive home in traffic listing to Engelbert Humperdinck lets talk
A child so small learning how to open your eyes .takeing your first breath in this beautiful world.
A mother looking down into the eyes of your heart. Learning the truest love on this earth the for your child.
Five days in this world smiling from ear to ear .
A mother looseing her breath because her heart is loosing his .
Five days old in pain eating threw a tube and under a microscope.
A mother finding her heart then finding other worldly fear of looseing it .
Her heart under a knife.
Tears of joy are now filled with fear.
A father see his son taken into the sky baby first […]
Even somethings are to private to post on here .I hope everyone has a good day.
Updat how fucked up is florida I went down the street to buy cigerrets and some random peson comes up to wanting to be “freinds and talk” when i kindly told him no im good .he tells my i was driveing i and i saw you walking and stop to say hi do you need a lift I can droo you off i said no now leave while waiting to a red light to cross the street he pulled up and opened his window and told him to fo fuck him slef and leave me alone .
Today I cried […]
I cried walking home from dunkin donuts … Again . I am going threw wired feelings lost hopeless are some i can name . Im leaving to a place I hate and people I dont want be around. Im lieing to my family about what im doing . little i thought i had im going to loose . writing this threw tears im going to force a smile in moment .
You dont have to drink alone we can have one togther Cheers ?
I hope everybody has safe and good night. And I hope to see you here towmorrow. 🙂
And Im happy to meet everyone on here .