I have had a bad day but was given a good message

Today I realized I have been like this for nine years. Two years ago I thought I was better but Im not the Realization that I am back at the beginning has made me cry all day . but I kept my appearance’s up wore a smile laughed joked . i’m back to the way  I was before I tried to make myself Happy a selfish mistake . I am meant to live this earth dead inside. 

I don’t know who believes  in god or not on  SP but I what believes this means is that he will take away all this crazy and bad feelings we have and lock them away from those that have been hurt by it . so even if you don’t believe I’m going to pray that he heals all and were all happy and for those who can’t wait no more try to ask for help . he dose help I have seen it ,( not like a crazy person oh the lordy lord spoke to me )like when I was grieving he took the sadness away in that second in stop crying and I was ok  . he dose do things  sometimes in a little way or big I hope and pray for all of us it will be  in a big way .

I how I am suppose to live my life empty but if he take the pain and desperation away from living like that I’ll  take it.

how is everybody right now ?