It’s been a long time since I last posted. I felt like writing this in because last time I didn’t, I just woke up with a headache and a noose around my neck. Tried to end it last december but the hook I attached the rope gave up (lol). After that I was just trying to go with the flow of life, waiting for another big hit to my face and make me scream to quit. And today I feel it all starting up again. I feel each problem and disappointment adding up inside me like a balloon ready to pop. I really feel like […]
I can’t escape the situation I’m in where I’m stuck with some shit up relatives who I can’t cope with. Sick of hearing their bossy-shit-who-thinks-they’re-perfect voices. I can’t keep bottling everything up inside me. I think I may just snap and kill them unconsciously. But my suicidal tendencies are stronger. Only thing stopping me from doing it is the lack of how to. I could just stab myself or just jump from our not so high rooftop but a part of me keeps telling that if I survive that shit I’ll be even in deeper shit. Tried to find a suicide group so that I […]
My mind is eating me. Sadness, anger, envy, loneliness, hate, self-loath, jealousy, shyness, sense of failure and other shitty feelings packed in one mind. I fcking hate times like this when I get depressed for no particular reason. I can’t seem to know the reason why but fck this. I try to do things to keep myself from being like this but even playing video games-the one thing that never fails to keep my mind straight- is failing. Had been feeling like this for I dunno maybe a month or two but back then it was just mild. Right now, I really think my mind […]
I think that I’m really not cut out for life.When I think of my future, I see myself alone. Not because that I suck at doing stuff but because of my anxiety. I am always scared to do things out of my comfort zone, I panic fast, I get angry in little time, I speak before I think and that I am a pessimist. I unknowingly ruin relationships with other people because of these. I wonder if I can get life through with this. I have put all my efforts in changing myself, even just one step at a time but still to no avail, […]
Not that I think of suicide. Its just that part of life where nothing excites me. I feel no enthusiasm for anything that i can do. Tell me if this feeling is normal so i can keep my sanity in check.
18 here
Things aren’t just going right. I’m bored with life. Sadness just overweighs my happiness. Thinking of suicide later, is it really painful?
By those “things”, I meant everything.