Numb and empty with no hope of a change of status quo. Knowing fully well that you may make it if you try but being so fucking lazy to get off the freaking bed. Yea thats me. Saint lesswill. Incapacitated by a love long gone
Who could have ever thought i would make it this far. Check all my past posts,i have lived below the basic standards of life,i have felt more pain than words could mention,but i had a good laugh with a friend today and i realised that despite all this. I am alive to live and laugh again
Realising that anybody could be lambert right now.
On my way to his funeral i met dupe. A girl which he introduc’d to me during our fresh man year. It ended with a bad note. RIP LAMBIE
Ve been avoiding him since this semester began.i ddnt want to let him know that i was on probation..although he was real kind to me during my fresh my fresh man years..but i never wanted him to think i was a failure.. Well i wouldnt have to avoid him anylonger cus he just died yesterday..
Rip lambert
Will i make it if i try?
I ve got some plans for 2013, but everybody thinks they will fall through,nobody really wants to support me in anyway not even a single.”wow sounds like a good idea”
Setting it back all up again in tears.i know that my past failures were not absent of my mstakes,so i wont sit here to blame any1 in particular.i may get a job soon,and i just miraculously came by some cash..i do not need to pull down the past structure of my life to build a new 1 because its already on the floor.i prayed for a new begining,so i am now going to work my ass out to get it
Most of my old pals aint here any longer guess i ve got to,up and leave
I ve tried hard to forget the fact that i am alone,i keep myself busy during the day with activities like reading,sleeping and browsing the net..but all this shit dont change nothing.cus the moment i step past that big iron gate to get to class,i begin to realise just how ugly and lonely my life is..my elder brother’s wife once told every one that i am a parasite.so i ve stopped asking anybody for financial help.i slowly fell from miserable into something worst.i am in college right now.and seeing my course mates happy,living the good life,going out for dates,using nice cars and phones.always reminds me […]
I know there are some greens up in here that would get depressed at the slightest challenges and confrontations in life.it may be about what the other guys in school call you,it may be about a broken friendship or a missing school bag,it may be about a seperated family or a horny pervert..the truth is that when those updates are made up in here,it is because this kids has no one else or no where else to turn to.maybe they needed the mature opinion of the adult folks up in here.whom they ve come to respect and look up to.please adult sp folks if a […]
I love you.
So i ve dcided that i would neva fall in love again.WHY?.
Cus i ve got ds long dstant girl friend that loves me so much,but i cant continue paying the exorbitant phone bill that the relationship demands,.we had this phone relationshp for a year then she paid me a visit..i ddnt have my own apartment so i had to use my friends own..WAS SHE EVERYTHING YOU IMAGINED?
yes she was.and even more.she loved me for who i am and never pretended about anything.though we didnt have sex during the period she was around.boy! she changed everything about me.she bought me so many things i […]
There re so many beautiful things i would like to do in my head.but i know that my depression and low self esteem are going to kill those dreams.whats the use of good plans.when they never work out?live it as it comes right?yea! damn right
I wrote out my life pains in a long post.but when i attempted publishing it.it went poff!..no i aint typing that shit again.no way…i dnt care how depressd i am.
I Couldnt cry out the pains,,i couldnt change my ugly reflection in the mirror,i couldnt make anybody love me,couldnt stop myself from probating in college,..couldnt heal myself or change my mental state…i know of all what i cant do..but if there s hope in christ,then my life is all his from now onward..with him i could wake up and instead of worrying about what the day may bring i wld jumb off my bed read my bible and after glossing over his promises i am off to the new day
I know your pain is different from mine,
i may ve lost an eye to a step father,
yours might just be a missing cat.
and his may be a broken nose,
i may have lost a family member,and yours may be too hard to remember..
It may be love or a broken heart
or did the pain pile up with the years?..
They all left. but you re not alone…we all feel pain like our minds are clones….
Em.i guess we nid sum rhythm up in here so i employd that..not like i am a vet or anything
I am backward.They all keep running past me..
They say i ve got problems….
I am not going to pretend like i dont..i know about my problems,i know about how weak and poor i am to sponsor any medical intervention.i know all this things.i know people are not always friendly to me.i know i am not too good looking and you wouldnt want to read my post if this was facebook and you could see my picture..i know i am alone and helpless…but.. i neva knew that he loved me.i never knew that he died for me in torture.i never knew he could be there for me..but now that i know.i ll live for […]
Havent seen her for a long time..she was really helpful to many back when she ws around..
Bad love brought most of us here.all we ve had from friends,family,and the world in general is BAD LOVE